Bin Wine Cafe

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Manly ass slap – ½ star
Fone and fone – 0 stars


Restaurant: Bin Wine Cafe
Location: 1559 N. Milwaukee


I’m still so angry it’s amazing I can even type. I feel like my Dad at a co-ed softball game when his forehead starts pulsating because the second basewoman made another error. If I were Bo Jackson I’d break a bat over my knee right now. If I were Robert DeNiro I’d break a bat over someone’s head. That’s how upset I am.

Here’s the story. I went to Bin Wine Café last weekend to celebrate a friend’s birthday, and in the process had the worst dining experience I can ever remember. The timeline looked something like this:

8:20 – Dave and I arrive for the 8:30 reservations. Our table is ready so we get to sit down.

8:22 – Mo arrives.

8:27 – Mo’s husband Dima arrives.

8:35 – we’re finally able to get the waitress’ attention to order drinks. “Don’t you want to wait until everyone else gets here?” she asked. “Um, no.” We place our order.

8:35 – 8:45ish – the rest of the group, including Nikki, the birthday girl, (a total of 11 at the table) arrive.

8:50 – we’re finally able to get the waitress to come back and take the rest of the drink orders.

9:00 – A waiter finally shows up with our drinks. 40 minutes after I arrived. 25 minutes after I ordered it. Dima is ready to head to a liquor store, buy a fifth of vodka, pound it, and then come back to dinner. That’s how bad he wants his drink. And just when we’re getting ready to finally get them, the waiter spills the tray all over Dima’s back. Luckily it’s all white wine and a beer. The worst part is that we have to wait TEN MORE MINUTES before they eventually get us our drinks, for a total of 50 minutes before I get to enjoy my first sip of alcohol. Not a good start.

9:15 – We get to place an appetizer order.

9:25 – I place an order for another drink.

9:30 – We get some tempura green beans that someone ordered.

9:40 – We get some bread and olive oil.

9:45 – We get the cheese plates that other people ordered.

9:50 – We place our dinner order.

9:55 – I finally get my second drink. And you know how I got it? Mo, who is 7+ months pregnant, finally went up to the bar and found our waitress to remind her that we ordered drinks. And this wasn’t the only time in the night that a woman who was 7+ months pregnant had to get up and find our waitress to get people drinks (and no, Mo wasn’t drinking).

10:03 – The waitress comes by and I immediately order another drink, hoping to speed up the process.

10:30 – I get my third drink.

10:55 – Everyone finally gets their dinner. And yes, we placed the order over an hour ago. And yes, half of the table ordered burgers. And yes, I’ve been sitting down for two and a half hours and am now just eating.

10:56ish – I’m done with my burger and fries.

11:25 – We get the bill and leave.


So, to recap. I was there for 3 hours. I was served exactly 3 drinks. It took over an hour to take our dinner order. It was over 2 hours to actually get our food. And the waitress never came by to check on us. Never came by to apologize. Never let us know why she was unavailable. And at the end of the night apparently they comped us some drinks or something, and the dinner STILL cost me $50. FIFTY DOLLARS! For 3 drinks and a burger with a couple of nibbles on the appetizers. Unbelievable.

So how was the food? Does it even matter?

When we were ordering dinner Dima said he had just read something that said Bin Wine Café had the 4th best burger in the city. Which was pretty accurate. I’d say it wasn’t quite 4th, and would place it somewhere between 378th and 390th. Not sure exactly where. FOURTH?!?! Who did this survey? The guy from Oldboy? The burger was overcooked and it had no taste. The bun was crumbly. The only thing that saved it was the great cheese, but then again it was the size of a postage stamp, so you really only had one decent bite of an entire burger. I couldn’t have been more disappointed.

On the bright side the fries were some of the best I’ve ever had. The green beans were also surprisingly good. Or maybe I was that hungry. Can’t be sure which.

Now, normally I’d throw out the fone and fone at this point, but I have been to Bin Wine Café before, and had a much better experience that time. The pizza was incredibly tasty, and the steak was much better than I expected. The cheese plates here are as good as you’d expect, and in the summer if you can sit next to the garage door that opens up to the street it’s a huge bonus. So, Bin Wine Café was able to save itself from itself.

But even so, I can’t give it more than a handshake. That’s how bad the experience was.



Got a question? Send it to born2fork@yahoo.com.

Webster Wine Bar

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Fone and fone – 0 stars
Manly ass slap – ½ star


Restaurant: Webster Wine Bar
Location: 1480 W. Webster


There are some things that get better with age. My basketball game is not one of them. At one point in my career I could shoot from the outside, hit fadeaways in defenders’ faces, effortlessly block shots, pass, and I could run the backdoor alleyoop better than almost anyone. Now, I can’t shoot, can’t play defense (and really, I never could), can’t jump, and I really can’t shoot. On Sunday I went 0-2 from beyond the arc, missed a couple of short jumpers in the lane, and looked incredibly awkward going in for a lay-up. Plus, I got my pocket picked trying to crossover a short, fat guy. But, I look great in basketball shorts. And that’s all that really matters to me these days anyway.

As far as those things that do get better with age, wine and cheese come to mind. And this past Friday I had a little of both at Webster Wine Bar. I’ve been here a couple of times, and I really like it. But, I’ve never eaten here. And honestly, I didn’t even know they had food.

Granted, the menu is pretty small, but the choices make it feel bigger than it really is. They have some salads, which we didn’t try, and some appetizers. We got a couple plates of cheese, some hummus, and some fried calamari. Shockingly, I’m not a huge fan of eating slices or blocks of cheese at a wine bar. Not sure why, since I love cheese so much. Maybe it’s a little too fancy for me. Maybe the fried calamari distracted me. Either way, I only had a couple pieces of the cheese, and they were fine. I’m told the hummus was really good (it was gone before I got a chance to give it a try, but I’m not a big fan of hummus, so I wasn’t trying that hard). I focused all of my attention on the fried calamari. It was the three “F”s - fantastic and flavorful and fried. When you hit the trifecta like that you can’t go wrong. I wish we would have ordered two plates of this.

For dinner I got the Cuban sandwich with fries. Awesome. The sandwich was juicy and not tough at all. Your teeth just sank into it. And the combo of meats (pork and a spicy ham) was terrific. And the fries – well, they were fried. That’s always good. But these were better than most.

My wife ordered a small pizza to share with another friend. The pizza wasn’t that big (supposedly 12 inches), and clearly these women couldn’t handle all 12”. Luckily, I could. I think I ate two pieces of it. It was mushroom and smoked mozzarella. And it was good. I wanted to order the pesto pizza, but thought better of it, as we were going to a movie and I would also consume some candy and soda there.

Some other orders at the table included the quesadilla, the lamb shank, and the penne pasta. By all accounts everyone enjoyed their meal. Although it’s tough to tell if Dima enjoys anything he eats, since he eats anything. I think you could serve him a paper plate drizzled with olive oil and he’d finish it quickly, think it was pretty good, and look around to see what else he could eat off of other peoples’ plates.

And we got three bottles of wine. The wine was great, and the recos of the server were right on. The only complaint I have is that although the waitress was super nice, she was also a very soft talker. It’s a miracle I didn’t walk out of the place wearing a puffy shirt.

And I didn’t even mention that we asked the place to switch our tables two times (three different tables), and they did without question or complaint each time. That’s always a good sign. Plus, I learned that our friends got engaged here. Awwwwwww.

So, Webster Wine Bar gets a chest bump. And my basketball skills get a high five.

Got a question? Send it to born2fork@yahoo.com.