Bin Wine Cafe

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Manly ass slap – ½ star
Fone and fone – 0 stars


Restaurant: Bin Wine Cafe
Location: 1559 N. Milwaukee


I’m still so angry it’s amazing I can even type. I feel like my Dad at a co-ed softball game when his forehead starts pulsating because the second basewoman made another error. If I were Bo Jackson I’d break a bat over my knee right now. If I were Robert DeNiro I’d break a bat over someone’s head. That’s how upset I am.

Here’s the story. I went to Bin Wine Café last weekend to celebrate a friend’s birthday, and in the process had the worst dining experience I can ever remember. The timeline looked something like this:

8:20 – Dave and I arrive for the 8:30 reservations. Our table is ready so we get to sit down.

8:22 – Mo arrives.

8:27 – Mo’s husband Dima arrives.

8:35 – we’re finally able to get the waitress’ attention to order drinks. “Don’t you want to wait until everyone else gets here?” she asked. “Um, no.” We place our order.

8:35 – 8:45ish – the rest of the group, including Nikki, the birthday girl, (a total of 11 at the table) arrive.

8:50 – we’re finally able to get the waitress to come back and take the rest of the drink orders.

9:00 – A waiter finally shows up with our drinks. 40 minutes after I arrived. 25 minutes after I ordered it. Dima is ready to head to a liquor store, buy a fifth of vodka, pound it, and then come back to dinner. That’s how bad he wants his drink. And just when we’re getting ready to finally get them, the waiter spills the tray all over Dima’s back. Luckily it’s all white wine and a beer. The worst part is that we have to wait TEN MORE MINUTES before they eventually get us our drinks, for a total of 50 minutes before I get to enjoy my first sip of alcohol. Not a good start.

9:15 – We get to place an appetizer order.

9:25 – I place an order for another drink.

9:30 – We get some tempura green beans that someone ordered.

9:40 – We get some bread and olive oil.

9:45 – We get the cheese plates that other people ordered.

9:50 – We place our dinner order.

9:55 – I finally get my second drink. And you know how I got it? Mo, who is 7+ months pregnant, finally went up to the bar and found our waitress to remind her that we ordered drinks. And this wasn’t the only time in the night that a woman who was 7+ months pregnant had to get up and find our waitress to get people drinks (and no, Mo wasn’t drinking).

10:03 – The waitress comes by and I immediately order another drink, hoping to speed up the process.

10:30 – I get my third drink.

10:55 – Everyone finally gets their dinner. And yes, we placed the order over an hour ago. And yes, half of the table ordered burgers. And yes, I’ve been sitting down for two and a half hours and am now just eating.

10:56ish – I’m done with my burger and fries.

11:25 – We get the bill and leave.


So, to recap. I was there for 3 hours. I was served exactly 3 drinks. It took over an hour to take our dinner order. It was over 2 hours to actually get our food. And the waitress never came by to check on us. Never came by to apologize. Never let us know why she was unavailable. And at the end of the night apparently they comped us some drinks or something, and the dinner STILL cost me $50. FIFTY DOLLARS! For 3 drinks and a burger with a couple of nibbles on the appetizers. Unbelievable.

So how was the food? Does it even matter?

When we were ordering dinner Dima said he had just read something that said Bin Wine Café had the 4th best burger in the city. Which was pretty accurate. I’d say it wasn’t quite 4th, and would place it somewhere between 378th and 390th. Not sure exactly where. FOURTH?!?! Who did this survey? The guy from Oldboy? The burger was overcooked and it had no taste. The bun was crumbly. The only thing that saved it was the great cheese, but then again it was the size of a postage stamp, so you really only had one decent bite of an entire burger. I couldn’t have been more disappointed.

On the bright side the fries were some of the best I’ve ever had. The green beans were also surprisingly good. Or maybe I was that hungry. Can’t be sure which.

Now, normally I’d throw out the fone and fone at this point, but I have been to Bin Wine Café before, and had a much better experience that time. The pizza was incredibly tasty, and the steak was much better than I expected. The cheese plates here are as good as you’d expect, and in the summer if you can sit next to the garage door that opens up to the street it’s a huge bonus. So, Bin Wine Café was able to save itself from itself.

But even so, I can’t give it more than a handshake. That’s how bad the experience was.



Got a question? Send it to born2fork@yahoo.com.