Crust

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Manly ass slap – ½ star
Fone and fone – 0 stars



Restaurant: Crust
Location: 2056 W. Division


Hipsters and hippies and yuppies, oh my!

That’s the scene at Wicker Park’s newest pizzeria, Crust. It also just happens to be the only certified 100% organic restaurant in the Midwest (or so I’ve read).

See, that explains the crowd.

The hippies are there because they’re hippies. They love nature and the environment and health and all that crap.

The hipsters are there because they like to be “different” and “cutting edge”. And right now going green, and being environmental, and protecting the earth, and all that sort of stuff is the trend.

And yuppies are there because it’s in their neighborhood. I was amazed at how many strollers I saw there.

Where do I fit in? I’d like to think I’m part of the small group known at “Fatties” who are there because we like to eat. A lot.

Crust was smart about when they opened. They have outdoor seating in the front and back, making it easy to take advantage of the great weather. The seats in front put you right on Division, which is great for people watching and inhaling bus fumes (two of my favorite pastimes). And the back patio is fantastic. It’s wide open, doesn’t feel cramped, and gets plenty of sunlight. The inside is another story. It’s pretty cramped, with tons of tables on top of one another. And when there’s a wait for a table, the bar area gets really crowded. Even making your way to the bathroom is a chore (I hate chores. Just ask my wife.). That’s not good. They do have a wall of windows in the front and back, so the space feels more open than it really is. It’s one of those places that looks great, but doesn’t function great. There’s a fine line between hustle and bustle and crowded, and the inside of Crust just feels crowded.

The menu is pretty simple, which I’m a huge fan of. When there’s too much on the menu, it can be overwhelming. Crust’s menu is one-sided. Salads, sandwiches, pizzas. That’s it. Easy and to the point.

My wife and I started off with the Sweet Basil Salad, which is just a fancy way of saying Caprese Salad. It’s thick slices of tomatoes, mozzarella, some red onion, a basil vinegar and olive oil. I’m really coming around on tomatoes. I’m starting to eat them more and more, and a salad like this is a good reason why. The tomatoes were ripe and delicious, and the cheese was amazing. The onion and dressing adding the perfect touch. I was actually mad when I finished it because I wanted more (kind of like the Sopranos series’ finale) but it retrospect it was the perfect amount (kind of like the Sopranos series’ finale).

I went with the Mexicali Blues pizza. It’s shrimp, Chihuahua cheese, cilantro, and a couple of other things. I was kind of excited about it (not sure why since the thought of shrimp on a pizza kind of disgusts me) and it didn’t deliver. It was kind bland. No real flavor. Just very whatever. And it wasn’t very big. And certainly not filling, which is a huge minus. I like leaving pizza places feeling just a tad bit sick and over-stuffed. I think I would have needed to eat about three pizzas here to get that feeling. It might be good for my waistline, but it’s no good for my satisfactionline.

My wife got the Peperonata pizza, which is how you say “pepperoni” in organic. Also very average. Not bad, just not “mmmmmmm…mmmmmm good”. In fact, the only pizza that made me go “wow, that’s good” was the Flammkuchen that Matt ordered. It had bacon. Enough said.

During the meal I ordered a couple of beers, both of which were fantastic. I think the thing that surprised me most about this place was that even the drinks were organic (which makes sense since Crust is 100% organic, but I was still amazed. That’s public schooling for ya. Speaking of organic, I want to eat at a place that claims to be 100% orgasmic. Now that’s my kind of restaurant.).

I was happy to hear that desserts were supplied by Bleeding Heart Bakery (one of my favs) and that they had the s’mores brownies AND carrot cake (two of my favs from one of my favs). We ordered one of each, and I enjoyed a little of both. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I love Bleeding Heart Bakery.

So, after enjoying most of my meal, I sat back and had the last sip of the chocolate martini I had ordered to go along with dessert (you know how I know I’m gay? Because I ordered a chocolate martini. You know how I know I’m gay? Because I really enjoyed the chocolate martini.). And right then the check came. Yikes. Forget the hippies and hipsters, this place was made for the yuppies. For four people it was $144. That’s $72 a couple. $85 with tip. For a pizza place. For a salad, two pizzas, two beers, dessert, and a chocolate martini. Holy crap.

I liked Crust. Didn’t love it. Liked it. It’s the kind of place that I’d go back to if someone said, “Hey, let’s go to Crust.” But I’d probably never be the one saying, “Hey, let’s go to Crust.”


Fist bump.



Got a question? Send it to josh@borntofork.com.