America's Dog - Day 1

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Manly ass slap – ½ star
Fone and fone – 0 stars


Restaurant: America’s Dog
Location: 26 E. Randolph

I’ve had a lot of bad ideas in my lifetime, but this might be one of the worst. See, several months ago America’s Dog opened on Randolph, just a couple of blocks from my office. Now, the concept of America’s Dog is that the owners (two brothers) took a road trip after college and drove across the country, eating hot dogs wherever they could be found along the way. They took all their favorites and put them on one menu. So America’s Dog is like 15 different hot dogs from across America. Pretty simple. Incredibly genius. In fact, it kind of makes me mad. How did I not think of this? Well, probably because I didn’t own a car that could be trusted for a trip longer than 50 miles until about 1990-never. Well, my bright idea was to do a weeklong America’s Dog challenge. Kind of like a kick-off to the dog-days of summer (Get it? Dog days? I’m hilarious.).

Here’s how it works: Everyday I’ll head over there for lunch and eat a couple of different dogs and a side item. Each day will be a totally new experience. The only thing that will be constant is the trip to stall #2 everyday around 2:30. That’s the part I’m really looking forward to.

Onto Day 1

I’ve been to America’s Dog a couple of times, so I already know what to expect. Since I’ve already tried a decent selection of the dogs on the menu, I decided to try two new ones. First up, Louisiana Dog.

Hot Dog: The Louisiana Dog
This dog is slathered with BBQ sauce, and then topped with grilled onions and a couple of tomatoes. Oh, let me also say that you have the option of getting a regular-size dog or a jumbo-size dog. For this week (and this week only) I’m going with the regular-size dogs. While I’m not happy about the decision, I’d also like to live to see the end of the week. Loved the BBQ sauce on this dog. It was sweet and tangy. Kind of reminded me of a Kansas City BBQ sauce (and speaking of, how is this not the K.C. Dog?). The onions were perfect. Grilled to perfection, and huge pieces to boot. They weren’t over-cooked and they had a nice flavor to them. I could have done without the tomatoes. They weren’t that big (which I was happy about), but also didn’t add anything to the dog. The nice thing about this dog was that you could really get your hands around it and eat it relatively easily. Some of the dogs here can become a little overwhelming. Kasey (my man-date for this trip) gotta dog with cheese, chili, and more chili, and you could only eat it with a knife and fork. Not the way a hot dog is supposed to be enjoyed. The dogs are also pretty long. If they were a porn star their stage name would be Slim Shady, while the jumbo dog would be Girth Brooks*. The dogs also have a nice flavor to them. Can’t tell if they’re Vienna Beef or Best Kosher or whatever, but either way they’re pretty tasty. Overall, I’ll give the Louisiana Dog a fist bump. Wouldn’t be my first choice in the future, but a solid option none-the-less.

Hot Dog: The Green Bay Dog
This might be the only thing to come from Green Bay that I like. Well, maybe the second thing. Last year I sold a dresser on Craig’s List to a couple from Green Bay, and they were really nice. Upgraded the city from a 0 to a 2 on my scale. Then came the Green Bay Dog. It’s a hot dog with melted cheddar cheese. And not just a little cheese, but a ton of cheese. And not some microwaved slice or shreds, but the kind that you scoop with a ladle. It’s no secret that I love scoopable cheese. And hot dogs. Combine the two? It just made my pants fit a little tighter, if you know what I mean. Green Bay just got upgraded from a 2 to a 5. An easy half handshake, half chest-bump hug.

Side Item: Onion Rings
These were really, really disappointing. I love onion rings. They might be my second favorite side item next to cheese fries. These looked promising. The size of each ring was huge, and I like big food. But they weren’t good. They kind of tasted like the frozen onion rings you get at the store and bake in the oven. They didn’t taste fried enough and weren’t greasy enough. And yes, I’m fat. Just a handshake.

At the end of the day I felt pretty good. Even had an ice-cream cone and a large order of General Tao’s Chicken for dinner. I think that guy from Super Size Me was making all of that “I feel awful when I eat fattening food” thing up. I feel like a could run a tenth of a mile. No problem.

Day 2 coming tomorrow.

*© Sally McCarthy





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