America's Dog - Day 4

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Manly ass slap – ½ star
Fone and fone – 0 stars


Restaurant: America’s Dog
Location: 26 E. Randolph


Day 4

America’s Dog just got a lot more expensive for me. Today when I was there (a solo mission, which sounds a lot like my high school sex life) my sunglasses got stolen. Remember when I mentioned the other day that seating was limited and Kasey and I had to stand at the counter in the back? Well they’ve added high chairs to all the counters, so now there are about 8 additional seats in the place. All the booths were full, so I grabbed the counter seat by the front door. When my order was called I went up to get it, leaving my sunglasses and cup of water behind to save my seat. In the 12 seconds it took to get my order and get back to my seat, the glasses were gone. I’m not sure if I should be pissed off or impressed. It took me longer than that to lose my virginity. The thing that annoys me the most is that when I was in Phoenix I left my sunglasses at a restaurant, and I liked them so much that I went out and bought the exact same ones to replace them. And now those are gone. From here on out I’m sticking to the Blue Blockers. Nobody is stealing those babies.

I know I’ve been focused on the hot dogs all week, but let me just take a second to address some other things on the menu. Today I saw someone get an Italian beef, and it was dipped. And I mean they took that thing by the tongs, submerged it in the vat of juice, and let it sit in there for a couple seconds. That is how you dip a beef.

My favorite thing on the menu (even though I’ve never actually had it) is their burger, The Big Delicious. I just love the name. If I could give myself any nickname it would be The Big Delicious.

Hot Dog: The Charleston Dog
I got this to make up for the fact that I didn’t get it yesterday. I’m not a big cole slaw guy. And by “not a big cole slaw guy” I mean I hate the stuff. Never eat it. You know what’s surprising? I hate any salad type of thing that’s made with mayo. Chicken salad. Tuna salad. And cole slaw (which I consider to just be cabbage salad). As much as I love mayo, and all things unhealthy, you’d think anything smothered in the stuff would be right up my alley. But it’s not. However, I really enjoyed this hot dog. I was kind of expecting it to turn out like the buffalo dog, where the ingredient I hate ends up ruining the dog for me. Not the case here. It actually added to it. And the fact that there was a layer of chili underneath it certainly didn’t hurt. Fist bump with a manly ass slap.

Hot Dog: The Des Moines Dog
It’s a corn dog. How could this not be good? And I really loved it. It’s not one of those greasy, salty tasting corn dogs (which I love). It tastes like it was dipped in a cornbread batter then fried. It gives it this great sweet taste, which balances out the salty taste of the dog. And it isn’t greasy. Just a nice, soft dough texture. The best way to describe it is a hot dog wrapped in cornbread. Chest bump with a manly ass slap.

Side Item: Buffalo Popcorn Chicken
I love that the menu offers a lot of side item variety. I just wish it didn’t all suck. Just like the onion rings and cheese sticks, the popcorn chicken is disappointing. Plus it’s served with BBQ sauce, which came out of nowhere, since I was expecting buffalo sauce. From here on out, it’s fries or nothing. Handshake.

Four days down and I still feel great. Either I have an iron stomach, or I’m just fat.



Got a question? Send it to josh@borntofork.com.