Meritage

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Manly ass slap – ½ star
Fone and fone – 0 stars



Restaurant: Meritage
Location: 2118 N. Damen


Five-year anniversaries are special. So special, in fact, that my wife and I celebrated ours twice. The first time was on the weekend of our anniversary, and we went to Sola. The second was a couple weekends ago and we headed to Meritage. Sure it was a couple months after the fact, but my folks promised us dinner and a night of babysitting as a gift. And as a new father, you never, ever, ever turn down an offer of free babysitting. Or free dinner.

I’m not sure how we decided on Meritage. I think it was just one of those places that we had always wanted to go to but never had. And when we were looking for a place to go for dinner it came up and sounded like the right time to check it out.

My first complaint was the reservation process. I called and booked a 7 o’clock reservation for a Saturday night. No big deal, right? But then Saturday afternoon they call and leave me a message, asking me to call them back. I do. They just wanted me to confirm the reservation. So it was like I had to make two reservations to eat at one place. Should this bother me? Probably not. But it did. And here’s why: when we showed up the place was deader than Robert Goulet (speaking of, my friend Kasey dressed up as Goulet for Halloween (technically for the Saturday before Halloween), and RG passed away a couple days later. He felt so bad he refused to dress up as him again on Halloween. I was disappointed, because the outfit was fantastic. RIP Robert.). Don’t make me make reservations at a place then call you back the day of the reservation to confirm the reservation only to have me show up to a nearly empty restaurant that makes me feel like I didn’t need a reservation in the first place.

And when we were seated we didn’t get to sit in the front room (which at least had a couple tables filled so there was some buzz to the place). We got walked to the back room (which you have to walk through the kitchen to get to, which I actually kind of like because it makes me feel like I’m some sort of big shot like the guys in Swingers), which had only one other couple sitting in it. Then we got placed at the table in the far corner. My wife was not happy. At least we had a window view. Of course the view was of the side street and the alley, but it was better than nothing. The room was really dark. You might even call it romantic. The noise level was actually kind of nice. They had music playing, but it was just loud enough to set a nice mood without being too loud so you had to shout over it. Of course that changed about 15 minutes into our meal when a four-top was seated right behind us. They were incredibly loud. Just the classic over-the-top, louder-than-needed, everybody-look-at-me type of people. They were yelling. Then yelling over each other so they could be heard, trying to one-up each other. On more than one occasion I had to ask Amy to repeat herself so I could hear what she was saying. Not exactly the most romantic dinner ever. And as the place filled up a bit as the night went on, it just became louder and louder. Terrible acoustics. Kind of reminded me of May Street Market in that regard. Except the diners at Meritage were much more annoying.

For starters we went with a cheese plate and the crab cake. I have no idea what the cheeses were, since my wife ordered them. All I know is that one was from a cow, one from a sheep, and one from a goat. And they were all really good. None of them smelled like feet, which was a huge plus. And the crab cake was the real deal. It was served on a fried green tomato. The cake was huge. More than enough for the two of us (which I didn’t think it would be). Just a smooth, rich, creamy flavor to it. Amy and I almost had a fork war over the thing. It was her favorite part of the meal, and I would order it again (not that I’m ever going back).

Next we both ordered the soup. It was an apple bisque and it sounded really interesting. Plus there was bacon in it, so I was pretty sure wild horses couldn’t tear me away from it. Or wild whores. And it tasted even better than it sounded. It wasn’t as sweet as I thought it was going to be, which is good. Of course it was a lot smaller than I thought it was going to be, which is bad. But it really had a nice balance of flavor going on, and the apple slices and bacon pieces were a nice touch. Six spoonfuls later I was done. And not by choice. I really wanted more. I was tilting the bowl and scraping every last drop with my spoon (which made Amy less than happy). Luckily the place was as well lit as a Buffalo Bill’s basement, so nobody noticed me being a total hoosier.

They had a special that night of skate, which I really like and almost never get to have because most places don’t carry it (and I think they might be endangered or something, so it’s probably another good reason to avoid them. At least that’s what Wikipedia tells me.). But the short ribs were really calling out to me that night, so I went with them instead. And they were a great choice. The meat just fell off the bone. They were so tender and juicy. And they were served on mashed potatoes (though I’m 99.9% sure they had a fancier name than that, but believe me, they were mashed potatoes). I really enjoyed the dish. The sauce that covered everything kind of tasted like a cross between gravy and blood from a medium-rare steak. I know that may not sound delicious to a lot of people, but it was right up my alley. The dish also came with some sort of green and white vegetable. It was awesome. Or not. I have no idea because I refused to eat it. My wife had a bite of it and didn’t die, for whatever that’s worth.

Why was she eating my food, you ask? Well, she ordered the pork trio. She was torn between that and the halibut and the waitress (who was really nice and a great server) urged her to go with the pork. When it came out you could see my wife’s eyes bulge. But not the good kind of bulge (like when I take my clothes off). For some reason we didn’t really think about what the “trio” meant, but we both assumed it meant three slices of pork tenderloin or something. Wrong. It actually came with three different types of pork. One was the tenderloin (which was good), another was a bacon steak (which my wife couldn’t eat, meaning I got to eat it, meaning I got a little chubby (even though it wasn’t the best bacon steak I’d ever had, but again it was bacon)), and the last was a pork sausage (which I’m 95% sure was a blood sausage, but again, we were sitting in the same place they filmed 30 Days of Night, so I couldn’t be sure. But either way my wife could barely look at it so I got to enjoy most of it (which was only a couple bites because I didn’t love it)). Needless to say the server gave my wife bad advice. And not because the pork trio is bad, it was just the wrong choice for my wife. I was just a little surprised that when someone is asking for advice between the halibut (a “light” dish) and the pork trio (clearly a “defibrillator” dish), you’d think the server would at least point out that the pork dish was a lot heavier than the fish dish, and maybe even mention what the trio consisted of. Again, not entirely the server’s fault, but the bad reco could have (and should have) been avoided.

Since my folks were buying we both decided to get dessert. She went with some fruity crumble thing (which she says was good) and I went with the caramelized bananas. They were pretty good. Nothing great or amazing, but I was happy with the order. Especially the size of it. It was HUGE, and Amy and I should have shared it. It came with bananas (in case you didn’t figure that out on your own) and ice cream, and was served in a puff pastry, which just helped add to the size.

To finish the night off we both got a cappuccino. Delicious.

And then the check came. Let’s just say that Mom and Dad weren’t paying for all of dinner after all. The grand total was $160 and change. Sure, we had a bottle of wine, but it was a cheap bottle ($40 and still over-priced for what it was). Looking back everything was a little over-priced for what they were. The crab cake ($12), the soup ($9), the entrees ($23 and $27), and the dessert ($7 each). After tip we shelled out $195. Good god. It was not worth that much. Not even close.

I did like the food, but at that price it isn’t worth it. I thought Sola had a similar style of food, but was much better, much more affordable, and also the food was much better. Plus the food was better.

The only thing Meritage really has going for it is the patio, which wasn’t open because of the cold weather.

It’s tough to figure out what kind of rating to give this place, because the food was good (especially the crab cake and soup), but not worth the money, and I wouldn’t go back because there are better options available at a much better price (Sola and West Town Tavern come to mind).

I think I’m gonna have to go with a high five and a manly ass slap.


Got a question? Send it to josh@borntofork.com.

Barcello's

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Manly ass slap – ½ star
Fone and fone – 0 stars


Restaurant: Barcello’s
Location: 1647 N. Milwaukee

Most restaurants try to put together a lineup of all-stars. A menu of home run hitters. A Dream Team. But too often the menu ends up being like the most recent Olympic basketball teams or the Yankees – big names that produce disappointing losses. They lose sight that sometimes the best teams have a winning lineup that includes MVPs and role players, all contributing to the success of the team. Look at this year’s World Series champs. They had Pujols, Rolen, and Carpenter, but also needed the help of role players like Wilson, Weaver, and Molina. And to fill out the roster they had guys like Eckstein, Edmonds, and Wainwright. A little bit of everything in that lineup, and in the end it produced a winner.

That’s the way I feel about Barcello’s. Its menu filled with a little bit of everything – some dishes go deep, and others just set the table for the big hitters.

The appetizer menu actually has a lot to choose from. You can get meats, cheeses, meats wrapped in cheeses, melted cheeses, soups, salads, and some other stuff. I’ve had the prosciutto (it’s OK. Nothing special.), the mixed salami, capicola, and bresaola (good selection), the prosciutto wrapped in mozzarella (now we’re getting somewhere. Except there are only about 5 bite-size pieces, when there should be about 50. I’d even be willing to compromise and accept 10. In fact, all the appetizer plates are pretty small. Don’t they know this is the U.S.A.? Don’t they know we’re all fat here? It’s like they thought the meat and cheese were enough to satisfy us fat Americans. Well guess what, it wasn’t. 5 more pieces would have helped.), and the baked cheese. I think Geoff described it best – “It tastes like a Giordano’s stuffed pizza.” And with an endorsement like that how could you go wrong? Really a great dish. It’s just melted cheese with some tomato sauce. Take a forkful, slather it on some bread, and you’re golden. And there’s plenty to go around (unless you’re eating with me, then you’re going to need a second order). I’ve never had the soup or salads, but I’ve seen them ordered. It’s quite a treat. My buddy Brian got the Cesare (which is apparently Italian for Caesar) and it came out looking like a giant green squid. Just huge hearts of Romaine, not cut up or tossed or anything. Brian was overwhelmed having to cut it himself. I found it funny. Not sure why. But it did look good.


Lots of different entrees to choose from. You’ve got pastas, risottos, chicken, steak, thin crust pizzas, calzone, and trattoria-style pizzas.

Before I get into that, let me give you a quick back-story. Barcello’s has been around for a while, but it’s recently got some new ownership. As part of that new ownership the dining area was completely changed along with the menu. However, the thin crust pizza and calzone were kept from the original Barcello’s. In case you wanted to know.

So, I’ve had the lasagna, calzone, lobster ravioli (which was a special), vodka penne, chicken risotto, open-faced ravioli, and I think that’s everything. While it’s possible I could have ordered and ate all of this myself, some I ordered and some I just sampled off other people’s plates. Here’s the scouting report, and where they would bat in the lineup.


CF - Baked mozzarella (great leadoff hitter. Gonna get on base every time and set the table for the rest of the team.)

2B – Vodka penne (solid dish and contact hitter. May not be a hit every time, but will put the ball in play.)

RF – Chicken risotto (really good dish. I struggled with putting the lobster ravioli in this spot so your best hitter gets an AB in the first inning of every game, but since the baked mozzarella has like an .800 OBP, I feel OK with dropping the lobster down and moving the risotto up.)

1B – Lobster ravioli (easily the best dish I’ve gotten there. Too bad it was a special that night, so you probably won’t have it as a choice when/if you go.)

3B – Open-face ravioli thing (just a plate of potatoes vaguely wrapped in a huge piece of ravioli. They were basically a really good mashed potato dish. Probably better as a side item then a full entrée.)

LF – Lasagna (good lasagna, but nothing special, and the bottom was a little over-cooked)

SS - Mozzarella stuffed with prosciutto (great defensive shortstop. A must have on the team and turns two better than most in the league, but lacks the offense pop to move up any higher in the lineup.)

C – Calzone (it was huge, which I liked, and included lots of hot, melted cheese, which I also liked, but it was mostly ricotta, which I don’t like)

DH – Sooooooooo Taguchi. Cause that’s what I thought about Barcello’s.


And it’s a BYO to boot. Fist bump.


Got a question? Send it to born2fork@yahoo.com.

Romeo Romeo

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Fone and fone – 0 stars
Manly ass slap – ½ star



Restaurant: Romeo Romeo
Location: 1415 N. Milwaukee


Romeo Romeo is the Sammy Sosa of restaurants. More specifically, the 1998 Sammy Sosa. See, in ’98 Sammy Sosa struck out 171 times. Now, if you told me, or any baseball fan, that a player struck out 171 times, you’d dismiss the player as no good and would pray he wasn’t on your team. But, if that same player also hit 66 dongs, batted in 158 runs, batted just north of .300, had an OPS of 1.024, lead his team to the playoffs, AND won the MVP award, well, then you’d probably change your tune a little bit. Suddenly you’d be praying he was playing right field and batting 4th every day.

And that’s Romeo Romeo. With every at bat, they try to hit it out of the park. They’re swinging big. While you’re going to find the traditional Italian dishes you’re used to, you’re going to find them with a little twist. Sometimes that twist is a steroid or corked bat driven 600 foot home run that bangs off the scoreboard in center field, and other times it’s a big cut that tweaks your back and keeps you out of the lineup for a couple of weeks.

But you know what, at the end of the day I’m glad I got that guy on my team, swinging away. At least they don’t strike out looking.

I started out with a lobster bisque soup, the soup de jour, if you will. But we weren’t in a French restaurant, so I guess it was more the soup del giorno. The twist was that it was topped off with a little bit of foam, kind of like a cappuccino. Strike out.

Next, we got the caprese, or the inflated caprese, or something like that. It was buffalo mozzarella with a tomato, some olive oil, and a little bit of seasoned love. Onto Waveland, with a big Sammy-hop on the way to first base. In fact, this didn’t just clear the True-Link fence, this hit the apartment building across the street, almost killing a street juggler with candy in his pocket performing for a group of kids waiting to catch a home run. My wife said that next time we go, this is what she’d order for dinner. People at the table were fighting for it like Sammy’s 62nd.

For dinner, my wife ordered the chicken parmesan. Fouled a couple off, then eventually squeaked a Texas leaguer into right field. It’s a single in the books, but not the most exciting way to get on base.

Now me, I asked for the waitress’ recommendation, and she said she’d go with the lasagna, which was made with smoked chicken. And not only that, it was served with two sauces. One side of the plate was a marinara sauce, and the other side was an alfredo sauce. It might be, it could be, it is! A home run! Sammy Sosa almost hit the cameraman in center field! Wow, he really got a hold of that ball! This dish was amazing. If you go there and you’re in the mood for pasta, please, please, please consider this one.

Another friend of ours ordered the salmon. Another K. The pesto mashed potatoes allowed the dish to foul a couple off, but in the end, Sammy couldn’t lay off the off-speed pitch low and away. But, with a little nod and a small complaint to the waitress, the chef made his way out, apologized, and cooked up a little sea bass as an apology (which was nicely seasoned and a decent dish if you’re in the mood for fish).

In the end, Romeo Romeo was 3-5, with two home runs and two strikeouts. Not to mention the server was extremely patient, the chef made a special trip to the table, and the place had that great feel of a neighborhood joint that you could pop into anytime. Entrees go from $17-$25, and I think, with drinks, it ended up being about $40 a person (and I’m not sure why I said “I think”, because I know how much it was).

Romeo Romeo been very, very good to me. Fist bump with a manly ass slap.

del Toro

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Fone and fone – 0 stars
Manly ass slap – ½ star



Restaurant: del Toro
Location: 1520 N. Damen

Over the holidays I checked out Wicker Park’s newest place to be seen – del Toro. We were there for my wife’s birthday, and though we sat there and ate for almost three hours, it didn’t feel like more than 30 minutes. Since the night (and the holidays) was such a whirlwind, I’m gonna go ahead and make this review a whirlwind in del Toro’s honor.

THE SPACE
del Toro is in the old Mod space, but you’d never know it (well, I guess you would since I just told you and if you knew where Mod was, then you’d realize this was in the old Mod space, but that’s not what I meant). They gutted the place and totally re-everythinged it. If you’ve ever been to Mod, stop by del Toro and try to figure out where things used to be vs. where they are. It’s a fun game. And I like the new space. And we sat in the VIP area in back.

THE ATMOSPHERE
For sure a scene to be seen type of place. But I liked it. My wife tells me there were lots of hot women there, but I didn’t notice since I was gazing in her eyes all night. But I’ll take her word for it.

THE SERVICE
Good. Bad. Weird. Our server was extremely friendly (almost in a creepy way). He stopped by often, but he would stop by, and take like one order, then go put it in, then when he came back he would have to take more orders. It was bizarre. But that’s what happens when you’re doing Coke/X/Weed/Meth at the server station.

THE DRINKS
I don’t really remember. I think that’s good. But I also don’t think they were very strong and you had to drink a lot of them. I think that’s bad.

THE FOOD
Kind of like the service. For sure had it’s ups and downs. It almost felt tapas style, but not because that’s how they serve it, it’s just how we ordered it and how our server served it. Again, he would be in and out with orders, so we kind of got everything sporadically, which is probably why we were there for three hours. Some people would get their apps at one time, and we share them. Then someone else would get their apps, then we’d share that. And, unfortunately, entrees were the same way. About half of the people got theirs, ate, and then the other half got theirs. I should have been more annoyed, but no one really seemed to mind, and since everyone was sharing everything, it wasn’t a big deal.

Some highlights of the food:

Fried chickpeas – I didn’t touch them, but everyone loved them, and my sister was craving them days later.

Bacon Steak – not sure how else to describe it. It was like a steak, but made with the bacon cut of pork rather than a steak. Really, I guess it’s more like a pork chop than a steak. All I know is that it was like a giant piece of bacon, and that made me happy. I loved mine, but I’ve also never had one before (I’m told by another friend that he loves this stuff and has had it at other restaurants). Another guy on the table got one, and he hated it and didn’t finish it. I think I remember him saying his was too fatty. Is anything really too fatty? Well, besides me. Anyway, it was small, but enjoyable.

Prosciutto like meat – I promise in 2006 I’m going to start writing more stuff down and stop going on memory. Anyway, I’m pretty sure that del Toro had Serrano, which is a Spanish ham, rather than an Italian one. Either way, it was pretty good. Tasted more like ham than prosciutto does. Not good enough that I’d go out of my way to order it again, but I ate three pieces of it, so it wasn’t bad either.

Grilled Calamari – this was calamari (one of my favorite things, especially when it’s fried) stuffed with, I believe, pumpkin ceviche (again, I’m going to start writing this stuff down). I almost don’t want to tell you about it and just want you to go and order it, but that seems mean. When it came out, it was the whole calamari. I’ve never seen a whole calamari (since it’s usually cut up into little pieces). It was bizarre. It looked like a science project, but one you eat. It didn’t help that it was topped off with squid ink, so it looked like it was bleeding. Most people at the table couldn’t even look at it, and my wife was a little freaked out. But, that didn’t stop us from eating it. And it wasn’t bad. The one problem was the squid ink. This is my second experience with squid ink, and the one thing I know is that it makes everything very, very fishy. And not Sopranos fishy, but Chicago River fishy. It’s just too much. Without the squid ink, I would even recommend this dish, but with it, forget it. I think the best part was when my wife ate the head (the part with all the little tentacles (remember, calamari is just a small squid)). I think two people vomited at the table, and another girl started crying and rocking back and forth. It was a little disturbing to watch. The whole thing felt like an episode of fear factor.

PRICE
I have no idea, since it was my wife’s b-day, and everyone at the table split the bill. But I think it was like $50 a person. We did have lots of drinks and two bottles of champagne. I’d have to go again to decide if it was too pricey, but also not sure it was worth the price.

And there you have it. del Toro. I’d go back there for drinks, maybe for dinner, if someone else was dying to try it out. High-five with a manly ass slap.


UPDATE: I went back to del Toro recently for a friends b-day. My feelings didn't change. Still love the space and stuff, food is still just very average. I did like the fried calamari dish (something like Fruturi Mezcala). Pork chops were very below average. Also, the scary grilled calamari weren't nearly as big as the first time I went. They were more like little slugs this time, so no one got too upset. And they tasted a little better this time because there was less squid ink. So there you have. I can now for certain say del toro is just very, very average.