Shaw's Crab House

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Manly ass slap – ½ star
Fone and fone – 0 stars


Restaurant: Shaw’s Crab House
Locations: 21 E. Hubbard


There are people out there who are “in”. They know about the secret little bars that don’t have any signage. They know the secret knock that gets you in an exclusive after party. Like Rubin, they know the secret handshake that gets four white guys into an all-black fraternity. I’m not one of these people. I can’t just walk to the back entry of a bar like Trent, enter through the kitchen, then plop down for the night at a table marked “reserved”.

But I do know one secret, and it involves Shaw’s Crab House. I know what you’re thinking, what could possibly be a secret with Shaw’s? It’s a Lettuce Entertain You restaurant. Just another cleverly themed place with good food, isn’t it? Well, yes. But, Shaw’s has a hidden gem that almost no one knows about. Garlic butter.

Now, the garlic butter isn’t a complete secret. It’s served with some of the dishes on the menu. But, it’s how you use it that’s the secret. The first time the server comes by and asks what you want to drink and brings you a basket of bread and butter, ask her for a side of garlic butter and some extra bread. Trust me. You’ll soon discover that the garlic butter isn’t the spreadable kind you’re used to. It’s melted, so you can’t dip a knife in it. What you do is you grab a piece of bread and use the butter as a dip. I’ve gone through two baskets of bread at one sitting. The first time I discovered it I asked the waitress if I could buy some to go. The manager told me no, that it would be a violation of the health code or something. Stupid health codes. And I’m not kidding when I say you could honestly make an entire meal out of dipping a couple of baskets of bread in the garlic butter. The waitress will hate you, but what do you care?

But there is more to Shaw’s. First, you have to understand that there are two places to eat – the snooty dining room or the oyster bar. I’ve never eaten in the dining room. I’m sure it’s terrific. According the website there are more than 40 fresh seafood entrees on the menu in the dining room. And they’re probably all good. But the dining room isn’t my style. I like the atmosphere of the oyster bar (sure it’s like a mini theme park with the way it’s designed, but I love theme parks. And water parks. And wet t-shirt contests.) along with the simpler menu. Choosing between 40 seafood dishes makes my head explode. At the oyster bar, I’m basically choosing between 8 or so seafood dishes (or choosing all 8, depending how hungry I am).

Start off your meal with the buffalo shrimp. Fantastic dish. It’s just like eating chicken wings, except you’re eating shrimp instead of chicken. Rule of thumb is get one order for two people. Or two orders for one Josh.

As far as entrees go, there are usually three I pick from. The first is the tuna tacos. Small chunks of tuna are grilled, and then served in three corn tortillas. The key to making these tacos go from good to great is the way you dress them. Step one, take the cilantro that comes with them and make sure you put an equal amount on each taco. Then use the salsa to do the same. The last step is the lime. Squeeze one of the pieces of lime and squirt it’s juice all over the tuna taco (sorry, couldn’t resist). Probably my default dish when I go there (introduced to me by my boss, who gets his tuna cooked all the way through).

The second is the fish and chips. One of the best I’ve ever had. The fish (which I believe is cod) is beer battered then fried. The best onion rings are beer battered. The beer batter creates this great flaky but tasty fried coating. When you get them with onion rings, it makes all the difference. And this is the first place where I’ve had it with the fish and chips (maybe I should get out more) and it makes all the difference here as well. The fries are just OK. Nothing out of the ordinary. Oh, and if you think because you’re getting fish you’re eating healthy, you’re not. The beer-battered fried fish makes you feel like you’ve just eaten a basket of onion rings and fills you up like nobody’s business. If you’re looking for lighter fare, go with the tuna tacos. Then again, if you’re looking for lighter fare you might also want to stay away from the garlic butter and the two loaves of bread you’ll eat with it.

The third entrée I usually go with is the fish sandwich. It’s like a much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much better Filet-O-Fish from McDonalds. Similar to the fish and chips it will fill you up. Wait, you know what? I think I’m wrong. I’m not sure any of these dishes actually fill you up. I usually have just eaten a loaf of bread and a bowl of garlic butter. Maybe that’s why I always feel full.

Oh, Shaw’s also has the best after-dinner mints. If they are out of them when you go, it’s because I’ve just eaten there. They have a bowl of these mints at the host stand as you leave, and I usually dump the whole thing into my pocket. Or my mouth. So if they’re out, you know why.

I’m gonna give Shaw’s a fist bump with a manly ass slap. Great place to go for lunch if you work nearby, or even for a happy hour dinner right after work.



Got a question? Send it to born2fork@yahoo.com.