Mambo Grill

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Manly ass slap – ½ star
Fone and fone – 0 stars


Restaurant: Mambo Grill
Location: 412 N. Clark


The first time I went to Mambo Grill was several years ago when I was in town visiting some friends. My buddy Brian and his then girlfriend (now wife) took my wife and me there. Everything seemed fine on the surface. When the waiter came and took our drink order, I wanted something “authentic” and “different”. He recommended the Micheladas. The Iced Spicy Beer. Sounded interesting. I was a tad reluctant, but he talked me into it. Why was I reluctant? Well, here is what the drink is made of. First, they take the Latin beer of your choice, then pour it over ice (is beer EVER good over ice?). Then, it is garnished with a lime (seems innocent enough). Now, here is where it gets a little scary. The drink is then served with a dash of Cholula hot sauce. Not sure this is what I want in my beer, but then again, I like spicy stuff, so I’m game. But it didn’t end there. The last ingredient is a “dash” of Worchestire sauce. There’s an old saying that goes “The camel toe that broke the vaginas back”, or something like that. Well, the Worchestire was the camel toe. The drink tasted like dirt. I could barely get through three sips. I was miserable.

And the reason I bring this up is because I remember nothing else about this dinner. I have no idea what I ate, if I liked it, if anyone else liked it (though I’m assuming Brian and Courtney did, since they chose the place), all I knew was that I never wanted to go back. And I didn’t. Even when I moved back here a couple of years ago, I refused to go (not that I had a whole lot of offers). But, I work not too far from the place, and a couple of weekends ago we ended up having to work on a Saturday (which is about as much fun as getting kicked in the shins by a 9-year-old girl wearing steel-toed boots), and we decided to grab dinner and continue working. We chose Mambo Grill because it was close by, and no one had any better ideas. It proved to be a wise decision.

Now, for those who don’t know, Mambo Grill is a restaurant that specializes in “authentic Latin food”. And for those who really don’t know, that’s not Latin as in “ad hoc” or “habeas corpus” or “facere amor ad tu volo”, but Latin as in Latin America. So, a mix of Cuban and Brazilian and other countries south of our border.

It had been long enough since my first visit that I was able to clear my memory and give it another shot. When the waitress came by and took our drink order, I didn’t make the same mistake twice. I went with the Mojito, which was delicious. In fact, everyone loved their drinks. Even my boss was happy, and he is very particular about how his drink is made (Grey Goose gimlet, extra cold, served up).

For starters, we ordered the guacamole and some chicken taquitos. Both great choices. The guacamole was fantastic. Super fresh. And the presentation of the chip basket was surprisingly nice. Not that it matters, but I noticed. Along with the quac came some pico de gallo. Now, most pico de gallos taste pretty much the same, but for some reason this one stood out. By the time we devoured all the chips it was a debate as to which was better – the guacamole or the pico de gallo. The winner? Us, since we got to eat them both. And the taquitos were pretty tasty as well. The plate is big enough for 4. And if you’re expecting taquitos like the ones you buy in a box of 100 at Sam’s Club or Cost Co. for five bucks (also known as the “Larry” or the “Dru”), prepare yourself. This is just one giant taquito (or taquitos, I have no idea if you need the “s” or if it makes it plural or what. I really need to take a Spanish class). And it’s tasty.

Total sidebar here. Go to taquitos.net. I just stumbled on this the other day. They review snack and stuff. So far they’ve reviewed over 3,000 snacks. I’m impressed (and that’s saying something). My only complaint is they have yet to try Matt’s Chocolate Chip Cookies – easily the best cookies available on the market (but not sold everywhere).

And we’re back. For dinner I ordered the “Pollo con salsa de coco y limon”, which, in English, means “Chicken that is pretty good but you should probably order something else on the menu.” It’s actually a slow roasted half chicken served on rice. And it’s not that it’s bad, it’s just that the other entrees at the table looked so good (and it’s also a record for the use of the word “it’s” in one sentence). Part of the problem is that it was a half chicken with bones and stuff, so you really had to work to get all the meat. I don’t like working, especially on a Saturday. And when I am working on a Saturday, I really don’t like to have to work on my dinner. I just want to cut a piece, then eat. Cut, then eat. And if I can even avoid the whole cutting thing and just eat, even better.

But, all things aside, I was glad I finally ventured back to Mambo Grill. It’s a solid choice. Not necessarily worth going out of your way for, but definitely will be added into the rotation of places to go for lunch or after work.

I’m torn between a high five with a manly ass slap and a fist bump. I’m gonna go with the high five with a manly ass slap, only because, while it’s good, it’s also not the kind of place that I’ll ever crave or even suggest we go.



Got a question? Send it to born2fork@yahoo.com.