Carnivale

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Fone and fone – 0 stars
Manly ass slap – ½ star



RESTAURANT: Carnivale
LOCATION: 702 W. Fulton Market


A couple of weeks ago I saw a movie called A History of Violence. As I was watching the movie I thought, “This is good. This is a good movie.” Then when the movie was over, I was talking to my friend and he said, “What’d you think?” And I said, “It was good. I liked x, y, z, and could have done without a, b, c. But, I liked it.” We stopped, ate some cheese fries, had a Mike’s Hard Lemonade (sans mini umbrella) and watched the Sox game. Soon, we shook hands and parted ways. Now I was walking over to another friends house to meet my wife, and thought about the movie a little more. I started to get the feeling that the movie was just OK. When I arrived at the party, I soon discovered that my wife’s friend’s roommate had also seen the movie, and by the time we were done talking about it, I realized I didn’t like the movie that much (except for Maria Bello, who shows her goods. And yes, I’m 13 with raging hormones.). What’s my point?

I felt the same way about Carnivale. As I ate the food, I thought it was fantastic. Really, I thought it was great. One of the people I was eating with even asked me if I’d come again, and I said, “absolutely.” But, by the time I got home and was in bed, I realized it wasn’t really that memorable. I was pretty sure it wasn’t that good. But, I’m a little torn because of how good the food was, or seemed, while I was eating it. I’m just kind of baffled.

Quick rant here. I can’t wait until bars and restaurants go to the no smoking format. When you enter Carnivale you walk right into the bar area, and it was smoky and I was in fear for my life. Maybe that’s a little dramatic, but you get the point. But, only the bar area was that bad, thank god.

Anyway, the layout and design of the place is pretty cool. It’s in the old Drink space, which I went to one time for New Years about four years ago. I kept trying to get my bearings, like where was the old bar, where was the stage, and where was I standing when the DJ played Prince’s 1999 for the 12th time. You’ll never figure it out. They did a great job remodeling the place. It’s really amazing. The joint sits like 700 or something. And they do a great job of dividing everything up so it feels like a bunch of intimate restaurants. Except for the main room, which is kind of ginormous, but in a good way. Even the walk to the bathroom (which is like 30 minutes away) is pretty sweet.

And really, I don’t have any complaints about the food. (Oh, by the way, the music that is piped in is a fun mix of Latin dance music and stuff, but back to the food.) It’s a blend of Mexican, Puerto Rican, Cuban, Colombian, and all that good stuff. Guacamole was fine. Nothing special, but not disappointing either. I only had like 30 servings of it. I don’t even remember the other appetizer, so I don’t think that’s a good thing. For dinner, my wife got a strip steak. Not bad. Super garlicky, which I love. But, nothing memorable either.

I hooked myself up with the braised rib or something. And when I say “or something” I mean something special. It was really, really good. Just melted in your mouth. Your fork effortlessly peeled away the meat. And it had this flavor I didn’t expect. This sweet kind of flavor, that wasn’t sweet like barbeque sauce, but another kind of sweet. I can only describe it as unexpected, in a good way. Of course the menu offered mac ‘n’ cheese, and if you know me, then you know I will always order a side of mac ‘n’ cheese if it’s offered on the menu. And it was great. It wasn’t cheese like Kraft Cheese and Macaroni (which is the best, hands down), it was more like an alfredo sauce, but with macaroni noodles. It was sooooo good and rich. And my rib came with mashed potatoes, which were also incredible.

And rich was a good way to describe everything. After you were done chowing, you just felt like you had a brick in your stomach. The food was just that rich and heavy. It was tough to eat everything that was put in front of you. But I tried. Then I ordered dessert. The chocolate cake. Get it.

But, all that being said, all the food being good, everything pleasing to the tummy, when it was all said and done, I just have this feeling of it being simply OK.

So, not sure about my final ranking. Could easily be a chest bump, but I think I have to give it a high five. I don’t know what to tell you. I guess I would say you have to go and try it for yourself, because I’m no help here.