Nine

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Fone and fone – 0 stars
Manly-ass slap – ½ star

Restaurant: Nine
Location: 440 W. Randolph St.

I won’t spend a ton of time on this review. Nine is one of the best places I’ve eaten in the city. The calamari was the best I ever had, and it wasn’t even fried. The lobster bisque was fab, the steak was to die for, and the seafood is phenom. I’m telling you, I tried a little bit of everything and there wasn’t anything that didn’t sit well.

The desert menu is one of the best in the city. It is very simple, with favorites like root beer floats, apple pie, and cotton candy, but the portions are huge, and the taste is better than mom used to make.

Warning: this place is extremely expensive, and unless you are a Sr. CD or worked for Enron, the bill will make you cry. With food and drinks, the meal came out to about $150+ a person, and that didn’t include dessert, which we had comped.

Easily a half handshake, half chest-bump hug.