Francesca's Forno

Ratings Guide:
Halfhand shake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Fone and fone – 0 stars
Manly-ass slap – ½ star



Restaurant: Francesca’s Forno
Location: 1576 N. Milwaukee Ave.


Mia Francesca has opened up another restaurant, this time in Wicker Park. Now, sadly I’ve never eaten at Mia Francesca, or any of its 714 offspring. From what I here, Mia Francesca is one of the best places to eat in the city, so, just warning you that my expectations were very high going in. Oh, one more disclaimer. I ate at Forno a week after it opened, when maybe they were still figuring things out. One last thing, you don’t care about any of the things I just mentioned, so on to the review.

Francesca Forno is located on the corner of Milwaukee and Damen (apparently in the old Soul Kitchen spot, where I never ate). Why does this matter? It doesn’t, but it makes for great people watching. The entire place is lined with windows, so when you sit and eat you can stare out of the windows and look at all the people on the streets, which there are many because of the location. This element is key when having dinner with friends who bore you or your in-laws.

The space is pretty cool. I love the décor, as it was super simple, with a hodge-podge of tables and chairs that made you feel like you were at your Italian grandmother’s place. They have it packed in pretty tightly, which I don’t mind, but if you have to go to the bathroom a lot, wear Depends, as getting in and out of your seat is a pain. Also, (and again, this might be because the place is new and hasn’t been fully decorated yet) the place couldn’t have been louder. The tin ceiling, no curtains and wood floors had everything echoing, making it hard to even hear your server.

Speaking of your servers, they are great. Super helpful, extremely nice, and you don’t have to speak Italian to understand what they are saying. We also spent a couple of minutes at the bar, and the bartenders were great. Or they were hitting on me. I’m not sure which.

The bar area is pretty simple, but they do have a small little space next to a big open window where you can sit on the window sill with a friend and enjoy a glass of wine, which is a pretty cool element.

But you don’t care about any of this. So, let’s talk about the food. Overall, it was very average. Again, they had just opened when I went there. Not trying to make excuses, but I expected better.

The apps were hit or miss. The prosciutto was awesome. Served on its own (I like it with melon, personally), it was cooked perfectly, and I had two giant pieces. It reminded me of bacon, which may have been why I loved it. We also got something they called cheese fondue, but it was essentially potatoes with a cream sauce over it. Kind of tasted like potato skins, and very average potato skins.

The entrées were also hit or miss, and mostly miss. The good was the Naked Ravioli. It’s basically ravioli stuffing minus the pasta shell. It’s also basically one of the best things I’ve ever eaten. Seriously. Drizzled with olive oil, I ate half of it, and I wasn’t even the one who ordered it.

But it went down hill from there. I got some sort of fish. Can’t even remember what it was, that’s how forgettable it was. Someone else at the table got a different fish, and it was also pretty tasteless. Someone got this squid infused pasta. Now, I love fish, and even I had a tough time eating it. It was so incredibly fishy. I think it would have made a perfect side item, where you could enjoy one or two bites (which were really good) but would run out before you ate three or more bites (when you wanted to scrape your tongue with a piece of bread).

Oh, I almost forgot, they had the best butter. I’m a huge bread and butter guy. You could say it’s my bread and butter. Kind of like not being funny. Anyway, the butter was a jalapeno something-or-other. We ate two huge baskets of bread because of the butter. And when I say we, I mean me.

The other pleasant surprise was the prices. Really, really reasonable, but it was BYOB when I was there (which it won’t always be).

I guess that’s about it. Not sure where I stand on this place. I was very disappointed, but also satisfied enough to go back and give it another shot because of all the circumstances (just opened, etc…). They are planning on changing their menu every two to three weeks, which is also intriguing.

For now, until I go for a second time and make a more educated decision, I’m gonna give it a high-five with a manly ass slap.

Until next time, keep eating.