Chicago Pizza and Oven Grinders

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Fone and fone – 0 stars
Manly ass slap – ½ star



Restaurant: Chicago Pizza and Oven Grinders
Location: 2121 N. Clark


Wait. Wait. Wait. Keep waiting. Just hold on. Wait. Keep waiting. Look at your watch. Look again. Get a drink at the bar (if you can get through the crowd). Drink it. Wait some more. Then, wait just a little bit longer.

That’s what it’s like most nights at Chicago Pizza and Oven Grinders. You wait. I’ve been there a couple of times, and each time the wait was over 30 minutes. So, is it worth the wait? Well, yes and no.

YES.

The place has a lot of history, which is kind of cool. If you read the back of the menu you’ll learn all sorts of neat stuff about the place, none of which I can remember. But, whatever it was, I’m telling you it was kind of cool. Plus, it’s right across the street from where the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre took place. For me, that alone makes it worth the trip. And not really for myself, but for when you have friends or family in from out of town. It’s just one of those neat things that I think tourists appreciate. And you get to eat while appreciating it. Which is nice.

The atmosphere is great. It’s in the basement of an old school brownstone type building. Low ceilings, dim lights, dark wood, tight quarters, limited seating – it’s my kind of place. One time I was there and this couple that was a combined 6,000 pounds barely fit in their seats, and no one could get around their table. They basically trapped the other customers into their seats, and servers struggled to deliver food to everyone’s table. It made me laugh. I like laughing.

The guy who manages the place and takes your name when you arrive is roughly infinity. He never writes your name down or anything, which is kind of cool. He just remembers the order in which people show up and seats them accordingly. Or he has Alzheimer’s and that’s the reason you end up waiting forever to sit. Either way, it’s a nice touch.

The Mediterranean bread. The first time I was there we ordered one. It’s the size of the table. We ate it and then ordered another one to eat before dinner arrived. It’s good. Order it. Then eat it. Then order another one. Then eat that one. Then be happy.

The “pizza”. It’s pretty good, but…

NO

It’s not really pizza. It’s more like a lasagna potpie. And I didn’t know that going in. So, when I ordered the pizza, I was shocked to get this potpie thing. Now, it’s got great presentation, as they pop it out of a bowl and put it on your plate to eat. But, it’s not a pizza. It’s false advertisement. It’s like being the quarterback and going to prom with the head cheerleader then not being allowed to get around first base. They should do a better job of giving you a heads up when you order (and I’m not the first person to mention this). When you dig in, sure it’s pretty good, it’s just not what you’re ready for. The second time I was there I knew what I was getting and I was much happier. But, it’s still not great or anything. It’s just a really interesting way to serve lasagna. One of those things that if you experience it, you’ll be glad you did, but if you don’t, you aren’t missing out on too much and won’t really care that you’re missing out on it.

The grinders. I can’t remember if these were good or not, and I know I’ve ordered one before. So, since I remember nothing about them, that means they couldn’t have been that good (or bad). And since it isn’t memorable, I’ll put it in the “not worth the wait” section.

And really, that’s about it. Great place to take out-of-town guests, if you don’t mind waiting forever. My in laws enjoyed the experience, were lukewarm on the food, and annoyed by the wait. Kind of like me. If I could go there knowing I would never have to wait more than 5 or 10 minutes, I would probably go more often, but since that isn’t the case, I’ll keep my visits to a minimum.

High five with a manly ass slap.