Drunken Fish

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Manly ass slap – ½ star
Fone and fone – 0 stars



Restaurant: Drunken Fish
Location: #1 Maryland Plaza Drive


A couple weeks ago when Dru and I went to check out Pineapple Express, I came out of the theater indifferent. The movie is probably best described as “fine”.

The thing is, the movie wasn’t good. But it had some really good moments. Most of the scenes with Red were really funny. And the idea of Dale dating a high school girl was amusing. And when he told her (um, I guess I should say something about a SPOILER ALERT! But it won’t really spoil anything, so read on) he loved her, her reaction and his reaction to her reaction, were priceless. And anytime someone reference British Knights I’m going to laugh. And you know why? Because BK’s are funny. And awesome. But again, the movie wasn’t good, it just happened to have some good moments.

I also wouldn’t say the movie was bad, just that it had some bad moments. For one, it was at least 15 minutes too long. Actually, more like 20-25. The final scene was painfully drawn out, to the point that a lady in the theater (who was clearly not amused by this movie, but also refused to walk out at any point) screamed at the screen “shut the fu@% up!” It was fantastic. In fact, it was easily one of the five funniest moments in the movie, even though it wasn’t actually in the movie. And Red being basically indestructible got kind of old by the end. And even though there were plenty of bad moments, I still wouldn’t say it was a bad movie.

Pineapple Express wasn’t good. And Pineapple Express wasn’t bad. It was just stuck somewhere in the middle. A place I like to call “just OK” or “fine”.

And that’s exactly how I felt when I walked out of Drunken Fish.

It had its good moments. Like the Tiger roll, which had a nice balance of some sweetness when it hit your tongue, and some heat by the time it was sliding down your throat. And the deep-fried Philly roll (which in a way is cheating). And the beer was cold, and they have some great outdoor seating.

Drunken Fish also had its bad moments. Like the St. Louis roll. Don’t ever order this roll. I’m not even sure what was in it anymore, but it was terrible. We started dipping it in the left over eel sauce from the Tiger roll, and even that didn’t help. I didn’t finish the roll, if that tells you anything. And the Spider roll, which was pretty disappointing.

And everything else was very average. The spicy tuna was nothing to write home about, but worth finishing. And the soup was fine, but tasted like every other soup at every other sushi place I’ve ever had. And the inside was fine. Didn’t feel like it was trying too hard, but there wasn’t anything unique or cozy about it either.

I don’t know what else to tell you. Would I go back? Yeah, if other people wanted to go, I would. Would I recommend it to people looking for sushi? No. If I had a sushi craving would this be a place I’d consider? Probably not, unless I was in the area or something.

So that’s it. I’m not even sure what to give it. I wish I had created a ranking that represented “eh”. But since I didn’t, I guess I’ll go with the high five with a manly ass slap.


By the way, I’m not sure if you noticed or not, but I used the word “and” a lot. 20 times, actually. That’s about 3.5% of the words I typed. Just wanted to apologize for that. It seems excessive in hindsight.



Got a question? Send it to josh@borntofork.com.

Pam's Chicago-Style Hot Dogs & More

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Manly ass slap – ½ star
Fone and fone – 0 stars



Restaurant: Pam’s Chicago-Style Dogs & More
Location: 6016 Delmar


Let me just say that when I saw a “Chicago-Style” hot dog place in St. Louis, I was skeptical. Too often you see things that are “Chicago-Style”, but in actuality, they aren’t even close. And it isn’t just for Chicago, it’s for any food that is unique to a city or region of the country that is then uprooted and prepared somewhere else. I’m sure there are hundreds-of-thousands of New Yorkers who move away from the city, and in their new location they come across an “authentic” New York pizzeria. And when they order up a slice they instantly miss home. Because this “authentic” shop is anything but. That’s how I’ve always felt about Chicago-Style anything away from the city. Usually it’s pizza, where people think that a pan pizza is the same thing as Chicago-Style simply because it’s thicker than a thin crust pizza (I’m looking at you, Black Thorn).

So when I saw that Pam’s had opened, I hoped for the best, but expected the worst. The results where somewhere in between.

When you first walk into the place it talks the talk. Every sign in there promotes a different item on the menu, all courtesy of Vienna Beef. You can’t walk into a hot dog joint in the Chi without seeing one Vienna Beef sign, so it was a good start. Now, the place is a little too well lit for my liking, and the kitchen looks like it might actually be sanitary, which I’m also not a big fan of. But they’re new, so there’s still time. The walls are my favorite. One side is covered with wallpaper that looks like fake stone, while the rest of the place is decorated with a fake brick wallpaper. It really is awful, but in a very charming way that I can’t help but love.

And the service has a little bit of Chicago in it as well. A couple people are extremely friendly, while there is at least one person in back (usually the cook), who seems a little too angry (usually at something one of the other employees has done), and isn’t afraid to let people know about it (even if they really are just talking to themselves in an extremely loud voice). I was beginning to feel right at home.

Of course I started off with the Chicago-Style dog. The ingredients were all there – Vienna Beef hot dog, neon green relish, pickle, sport peppers, celery salt, mustard, onions, tomato, poppy seed bun – but when I bit into the dog I was extremely disappointed. The bun was really dry, even stale, instead of steamed. A huge no-no. And the hot dog tasted a little like it had been sitting around for a while, and I wasn’t convinced it was steamed or boiled. But I wasn’t watching them cook it, and I’m sure it was done the Windy City way, but still, something about it didn’t seem quite right. The only way I can describe it is by saying it tasted like someone went on Wikipedia, read about a Chicago-style dog, and then tried to replicate it. If that makes sense. And really, the hot dog met my expectations, because they were so low.

For a side item and palate cleanser I had the onion rings, which were pretty good, but not amazing or anything.

I also got the Italian Beef. This was actually more important to me than the hot dog. You see, you can get a decent hot dog, or even an imposter Chicago-style dog, and be satisfied enough that you can make it until your next trip to Chicago. Hell, the hot dogs at Home Depot are good enough to get the job done. And when you factor in the hot dogs at any ballpark, you find out you can live without having a great Chicago-style dog for a while. But an Italian Beef? There’s no substitute for that. And really no place to get them other than Chicago. So I was more excited about it than the hot dog. And it didn’t disappoint. The meat was juicy, the bun was nice and wet (make sure you get it dipped, and be sure to tell them to dip it extra long, because they just drop it in there real quick, I’m sure because most people are scared of a well-dipped beef (if you know what I mean), and the giardinaire (hot peppers) was perfectly hot. Now, was it as good as a Johnnie’s or Al’s beef? Of course not. And really, it wasn’t even close. But, it was as close to an authentic Italian Beef as you’re going to find outside of Chicago (and if someone knows otherwise, please point me in the right direction). In fact, if it wasn’t for the beef, I’m not sure how often I’d even make it back to Pam’s.

But because of the beef, I’ve already dragged my co-workers down there for a bite. This time around I actually got the hot dog and beef again, and instead of onion rings I opted for the cheese fries.

It felt like they figured out the hot dog situation. The bun was nice and steamed and soft. The hot dog tasted like it was boiled and nice and hot when served. And it wasn’t thrown together perfectly like it was going to be in a photo shoot. Just a mess of ingredients slapped on, which is how I think a Chicago-style dog should be served. It was as close as I’m going to come to a Chicago-Style dog in the Lou. And the beef was just as good, if not better, than the first time. The cheese fries, however, were terrible. They were just fries with some shredded cheddar cheese melted on. The cheese on cheese fries in a hot dog joint is supposed to be scooped out of a pot, not grabbed by the handful out of a bag.

I’m also a little disappointed that they don’t have shakes on the menu. Nothing goes better with a hot dog and fries than a nice and thick chocolate shake.

Speaking of things missing from the menu, the place serves breakfast, and even has breakfast sandwiches, yet they don’t have a pepper and egg sandwich. How is that possible? How can a place have the words “Chicago-Style” in their name and not include a pepper and egg sandwich? Especially when they already are serving breakfast? It actually kind of hurts my feelings. When I go down there next week I’m probably going to have to speak to the manager about adding it to the menu. Even if it becomes an off-menu item only for me, at the very least.

That being said, they do have the combo on the menu (Italian Beef with an Italian Sausage). I was so happy with the beef the first time around I instinctively got it again the second time and forgot to try the combo. But don’t worry Mr. Combo, you’ll be gracing the inside of my belly (and toilet) soon enough. And like every fine Chicago hot dog joint, they also have Gyros, which looked average, and am told by Kelly are “pretty good, but nowhere near as good as Gyro House.” I’ll take her word for it.

And you know what else? They have fried Twinkies. And fried Zingers. And fried muffins (for the kids, who I assume are 300 lbs). I don’t think there’s much more to say about that.

Pam’s is my new home away from home. Fist bump with a manly ass slap.



Got a question? Send it to josh@borntofork.com.