Victory's Banner

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Manly ass slap – ½ star
Fone and fone – 0 stars



Restaurant: Victory’s Banner
Location: 2100 W. Roscoe


At the end of “Ghostbusters”, Gozer asks the guys to “choose the form of the destructor”. Peter realizes that whatever, or whoever, they think of will be the thing that comes and destroys them. So they all clear their heads of any thoughts. So nothing can come kill them. But then, out of nowhere, is the most terrifying beast imaginable – The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Ray explains that he “tried to think of the most harmless thing…something that could never, ever possibly destroy us.”

Well, if I were in Ray’s position I would have been thinking about the French toast at Victory’s Banner. It’s, by far, the best French toast I’ve ever had. Just giant, soft, gooey, sweet pieces of syrup covered goodness. Even Gozer couldn’t convince them to hurt a soul.

By the way, how bad am I dating myself with a “Ghostbusters” reference? And as another random tangent, who was more of a comedic genius – Bill Murray or Chevy Chase? Everyone quickly says Bill Murray, but I think a big reason for that is because of Bill Murray’s longetivity (which does count for something). He was funny back in the late 70’s/early 80’s, and is still funny today (thanks in large part to his resurrection courtesy of Wes Anderson). And since we’re such a “what have you done for me lately” society, we quickly dismiss the question as ridiculous. But let’s take a closer look, shall we.


HIGHEST POINT

Chevy Chase:
1985. I realize it was over 20 years ago, but that’s the year that “Fletch”, “European Vacation”, and “Spies Like Us” came out. Look at that list again. Most comedic actors don’t have three movies that good in their entire career, and Chevy did it in one year. It’s an amazing accomplishment. At that time most people thought he was just hitting stride, nowhere near hitting his peak. But looking back that’s exactly what 1985 was. Sure, he had some great movies in the years that followed, but nothing ever came close to 1985. And really, he didn’t have that many great movies after ’85.

Bill Murray:
You’d think 2004, since that’s the year he won a Golden Globe and was nominated for an Oscar. Which is amazing, because if you were a betting man, even a compulsive one like my buddy Larry, in the 80’s you never would have put money on “Bill Murray will be nominated for an Oscar some day”. But we’re talking about being a comedic genius, not a good actor. And “Lost In Translation” wasn’t funny. Sure, it had funny moments, but nobody would confuse it with a comedy. So we can’t count 2004. I’d say 1998/1999. “Rushmore” came out and kind of put Bill Murray back on the map. And the weird thing is he never really fell off the map (the way Chevy did), but “Rushmore” really made people realize that Bill could do more than classic slapstick comedy, and could do more intelligent things. And not just because it was funny, but because he was a good enough actor to make it funny yet believable. He even got a Golden Globe nomination for the role. It was after this performance that he got the chance to do something similar in “Royal Tenenbaums”, which then led to “Lost in Translation”, which then led to the Oscar. So I would consider “Rushmore” his highest point.



LOWEST POINT

Chevy Chase:
“The Chevy Chase Show”. I don’t think I have to say much else about it. If you never saw it, be thankful. If you don’t believe me, go youtube it. Just miserable. And he never really recovered from it. The only decent (and I use that word lightly) movie he made after that was “Vegas Vacation”.

Bill Murray:
I’m going to have to say “Garfield” for many reasons. 1) Because I hate Garfield. 2) He had to know that Breckin Meyer and Jennifer Love Hewitt were both involved, and yet he still agreed to do it. 3) This came after “Rushmore”, “Royal”, and “Lost”. How do you do those tree movies, have all the momentum in the world, and still feel the need to collect a paycheck by doing the voice for this movie? And then agree to do a second movie? It’s not like he has young kids he’s doing it for. It really angers me, and brings him down a notch. And here’s a random fact: the guy who did Peter Venkman’s voice on the animated Ghostbusters series was the same guy who used to do Garfield’s voice in the animated series back in the day. Then Murray, who first played Venkman, ends up doing Garfield’s voice for the animated movies. Why do I know this? Because it’s useless information.


5 BEST MOVIES

Keep in mind they had to play a key role and really add something to the movie, not just make a quick cameo/appearance that didn’t add much other than an extra credit to their IMDB page.


Chevy Chase:
(in no particular order) Caddyshack, Fletch, Spies Like Us, Vacation, Three Amigos

That’s a monster top 5. They are each all-time classics. The perfect balance of funny and total stupidity. How do I know they’re great movies? Because any time I’m watching them and my wife walks in the room, she turns around and walks out. That’s how you know something is truly, truly funny on many different levels: my wife hates it. And he just played each role perfectly. Whether it was slapstick, or loveable idiot, or sarcastic straight man (think Vince Vaughn before Vince Vaughn was Vince Vaughn), he killed it. Out of the park every time.


Bill Murray:
(in no particular order) Caddyshack, Stripes (the first half), What About Bob, Rushmore, Meatballs

Bill’s list is a little tougher to narrow down. I think he has more quality comedies to choose from, which is an advantage, but I don’t think his top 5 is as good at Chevy’s top 5. And that counts for something. Plus, Stripes was more of a half-movie. After they leave training the movie is a mess and almost unwatchable. You look at Bill’s top 5 and you think, “Those are five great movies. Wow.” But you look at Chevy’s and you think, “those are five of my all-time favorite movies. Holy crap. That man was a genius.”

5 WORST MOVIES

Chevy Chase:
Caddyshack II, Fletch Lives, Memoirs of an Invisible Man, Man of the House, Nothing But Trouble

I don’t want to spend a lot of time talking about any of these, because they were so bad, but just wanted to say that I recognize he didn’t really play a major role in “Caddyshack II”, but the fact that he even agreed to appear on screen is almost unforgivable.


Bill Murray:
Garfield, Quick Change, Stripes (the second half), Larger Than Life, Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties

I think it was harder to find 5 terrible movies that Bill did, while narrowing Chevy’s 5 worst was easy to do, because there were so many to choose from. Really, if you take away the two Garfield movies, the other three are bad, but not unbearable. You could sit through them if you had to, which is a plus.


FINAL THOUGHTS

I think if you’re looking at their careers as a whole, you’d probably, at gunpoint, have to say Murray, simply because he’s so good for so long. He never really had a big lull in his career. Never made bad movie after bad movie. He has more quality movies than Chevy, and less awful movies as well. But, I think that Chevy has made funnier movies. You look again at his top five and it’s amazing. I don’t think Murray’s five come close. And creating several all-time classics instead of a ton of good movies has to count for something.

And that’s why it’s a little more complicated than “Bill Murray, hands down.” My vote would be for Chevy. But I think the real winners are all of us.


Anyway, back to Victory’s Banner and the French toast.

There was nothing fancy about the French toast. They weren’t a chocolate tower of French toast and they weren’t topped with some exotic fruit and they didn’t have some special ingredient baked in and they didn’t use some kind of unique bread. It was just good old-fashioned French toast. And the best I’ve ever had.

The slices were nice and big. But they weren’t dense. That’s usually a huge problem with French toast. Either the bread is too slim and flimsy and you feel like you’re eating a wet napkin. Or it’s really thick and dense, and you feel like you’re eating a moist (sorry Debbie) brick. Both are miserable.

But the bread at Victory’s was perfect. Nice and thick, but incredibly light and fluffy. It was able to soak up the syrup without falling apart. But still soak it up enough that you got to taste the syrup and bread with each bite.

On top of it all they had a great butter to go along with it. It was some special peach-flavored butter. It just added to the sweetness of the whole dish. I’ll admit the butter is “unique”, but it was unique in a way that added to the meal, not overpower it, and it didn’t feel like a gimmick. Most of the time when places have some unique French toast, it’s some gimmick and overpowers the best parts of a classic French toast. This didn’t. It was the perfect compliment. I wanted to smear the entire plate all over my body. But my wife talked me out of it. Maybe next time.

I should also mention that the place is vegetarian (I don’t have to say it, but you know), so all the meats are made of veggie-friendly products. My wife had some eggs mixed with some fake meat, and it was really good. Not nearly as good as the French toast, but not a bad option. And the potatoes were also really good.

All that being said I would say everything at Victory’s Banner is pretty good/above average. But the French toast is worth going out of your way for. I think they get the elite HJ rating on their own.

But because of everything else, the place only gets a chest bump.


Got a question? Send it to josh@borntofork.com.