Vella Cafe

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Manly ass slap – ½ star
Fone and fone – 0 stars



Restaurant: Vella Cafe
Location: 1912 N Western


Song: Café, Vella
Artist: Big Delicious


[Intro: G Lou]
Ahuh Ahuh (Yea Delicious)
Ahuh Ahuh (Good boy gone fat)
Ahuh Ahuh (Weighs three... Hundred)
Ahuh Ahuh

Hungry is the norm
Feelin’ drained, got hunger pains in the tank
Blood sugar down like Dow Jones
When the sun up its dawn, we Born To Fork ya
We ain’t lighter than feathers
And breakfast is better, you know me,
In anticipation for good caffination.
Menu items we’ll order tres
Yeah, G Lou is back, with the biggest canine
Delicious where you at?

[Big Delicious]
Panini to start
Heard it might be a work of art
Filled with some Jimmy Dean
And eggs were on the scene
Bread grilled right on the mark
But the sauce was def the star
And just so you are aware
I’d say it was above fair
You know?

[Chorus]
Want to go eat, I’ll go whenever
Told you I'll be fat forever
Money here you are gonna spend
Took an oath I'ma over-eat till the end
Now that I’m weighing more than ever
I might as well go order another
You should go check out Café, Vella
You should go check out Café, Vella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Go check out Café, Vella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Go check out Café, Vella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Go check out Café, Vella
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

This fancy thing,
Polenta topped with eggs and cheese
Big as a ghetto booty,
But it was no panini
When I took my first big bite
It was a pleasant surprise
Better than I guessed,
But next time I think I’ll pass
And so

[Chorus]
Want to go eat, I’ll go whenever
Told you I'll be fat forever
Money here you are gonna spend
Took an oath I'ma over-eat till the end
Now that I’m weighing more than ever
I might as well go order another
You should go check out Café, Vella
You should go check out Café, Vella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Go check out Café, Vella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Go check out Café, Vella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Go check out Café, Vella
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

Then I had to get the crepe
So good my mouth was agape
Filled with bananas
And tons of Nutella, I love
So now I walk out through the door
I'll be back to order more
Applause

[Chorus]
Want to go eat, I’ll go whenever
Told you I'll be fat forever
Money here you are gonna spend
Took an oath I'ma over-eat till the end
Now that I’m weighing more than ever
I might as well go order another
You should go check out Café, Vella
You should go check out Café, Vella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Go check out Café, Vella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Go check out Café, Vella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Go check out Café, Vella
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

Intelli
Ooh baby gentsia
Baby enjoy a cup
Enjoy a cup
Intelli
Oh baby gentsia


To recap: Amazing crepe. Really good breakfast panini. Surprisingly good polenta breakfast dish. Intelligentsia coffee. A tad pricey (the crepe was the cheapest thing at $5.50). Total came to about $24. Plus tip. Cozy atmosphere. Kid friendly. Great neighborhood spot. Check it out if you’re in the area.

Fist bump with a manly ass slap.

Got a question? Send it to josh@borntofork.com.