Herbie's

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Manly ass slap – ½ star
Fone and fone – 0 stars


Restaurant: Herbie’s
Location: 405 N Euclid, St. Louis, MO


So a couple of weeks ago Herbie’s opened up in the old Balaban’s location, and my wife and I had the pleasure of getting a sneak peak before it opened to the general public. I’d like to think it’s because the Big Delicious is kind of a big deal and that having my presence there legitimized the place. But the truth is that Les and Mike, friends of my wife, were friends with the owner of Herbie’s and passed along the soft-opening invitation to us. Either way, I was happy to check it out.

The aforementioned owner(s) are Aaron Teitelbaum and Jeff Orbin, who also happen to be the creators of Monarch (which is how Les and Mike know them, because they eat dinner there roughly 14 times a week, give or take). They’ve kept on several dishes that Balaban’s was known for (BBQ Salmon, Beef Wellington, Cucumber Bisque), while also adding signature dishes from Aaron (the cook). Jeff (the designer) also completely renovated the place. Now, I say completely renovated, because that’s what the email invitation said. However, I hadn’t been to Balaban’s in probably six years, and to me, the place looked pretty much the exact same as it did six years ago. But then again, I sometimes have a terrible memory, and probably should know when to shut my mouth before I make myself look stupid, because I’m sure Jeff would give me a tour and show me how everything is totally different (which he actually offered to do, but my wife was already embarrassed to be sitting with me because I had just gotten a Mohawk with the sides of my head etched with a shooting star and racing stripes for the Chicago Marathon, and she refused to draw any more attention to me (and to herself for being with me) than was necessary, so we respectfully declined the tour. And before you say “your hair couldn’t have been that bad” (and I actually liked it, but was the only person who did) maybe this will put it in perspective for you – our friend Bonnie’s brother, Brad, was sitting at the table behind us with his wife (or fiancé, but I think they’re married now) and Amy wouldn’t let me say “hi” because she was embarrassed to do so with my hair. So much for the whole “for better or worse” thing.), so I’ll take his word for it. All that being said, the space really is great. It has the Bistro area, which feels kind of like a cool French diner right on the street, and the more upscale restaurant area. But the difference between the two is more than just aesthetic – they also have different menus. And personally, I’m a fan of the Bistro menu.

Why? Well, that’s what I’m here to explain.

We got to sit in the Bistro area, which is what I would recommend. It’s much more cozy and romantic than the restaurant, and the windows that line the street are always fun to peer through. The Bistro isn’t really set up for big groups, but it is perfect for dinner with a couple of friends, or dinner with your significant other. The menu is also much simpler (and more affordable) than the restaurant menu. They do share some of the same dishes, but it’s mostly appetizers and a couple of the cheaper main courses. Now, because we were big deals, we got to actually look at both menus and order what we wanted off of either. And we both actually ended up getting our main courses off the restaurant menus. I know what you’re thinking, “Big D, would you give me the honor of pleasuring you when you’re wife is out of town?” But the answer to that is “no”. You might also be thinking, “But Big D, you said you preferred the Bistro menu, but you ordered off the restaurant menu. That doesn’t make any sense.” You’re right, it doesn’t. Until now.

The simple fact is that I liked our main course, but it wasn’t worth the $26 they charged for it. I’m a big fan of the expression “you get what you pay for” (just ask Hugh Grant), and in this case I didn’t. I have no problem shelling out $26 (or more) for a main course, but it better be unbelievable, and this was just “good”, which isn’t good enough for $26, if that makes any sense. So next time I go, I’ll order something a little more affordable off the Bistro menu and feel that I’m getting what I pay for.

Glad we cleared that up.

So, we started off with the calamari, which was really good. It comes with a dipping sauce that was amazing. And it was fried (the calamari, not the dipping sauce), so you pretty much couldn’t go wrong. We then both got soups. I convinced Amy to get the Cucumber Bisque, because it was one of those “vintage ‘72” dishes held over from Balaban’s. And guess what? It was terrible. Honestly, Amy took two bites and couldn’t eat any more. I got the gumbo, which was phenomenal. So good, in fact, that Amy made me trade with her, since she blamed me for making her order the cucumber soup. So I had to try and force it down my mouth with a smile on my face. For the record, soup should never be cold or chilled. I just don’t think it’s even soup at that point. I think we almost have to come up with another name for it other than soup. Like “pous”, since it’s the opposite of soup. But that’s just me.

For our entrees I got the short rib and Amy got the Tuna. Both were good, but not great. The rib was cooked with Schlafly’s IPA (I think), which gave it an interesting flavor and helped the meat fall off the bone, which was nice. And the potatoes it came with were to-die-for. But in the end, I think Amy described it best when she said, “This place makes me miss places like Sola.” And she’s right. While it’s good, it’s no Sola (or West Town Tavern).

“So what?” you may ask. “Maybe it’s not trying to be Sola, but it’s trying to be Herbie’s,” you might say. Well, it costs about the same as Sola, that’s what. So you’d hope it’d be just as good. And I know I’m (once again, like a total douche) doing the whole “Chicago is awesome” thing, but it is. And I know there are places here in the Lou that are as good as places in Chicago, but Herbie’s isn’t one of them. The total bill was $145 after tip (which includes $35 worth of drinks), and I just think that’s too much for what Herbie’s was.

And it’s tough for me to knock Herbie’s too much, because the dessert was so good I nearly finished in my pants from both ends. It was chocolate fritters. Basically dark chocolate wrapped in more chocolate, then fried. There aren’t human words to describe just how good they were. When you cut them in half chocolate exploded everywhere, oozing all over the plate. And when you ate one full, the whole thing just exploded in your mouth (that’s what she said). A great finish to the meal.

And the service was also great. Super nice server (who even gave us a free glass of wine because he said we had to wait too long for it). And Jeff stopped by to check on us several times, along with the manager. So the entire experience was great. And I would go back, but like I said, I would just order from the Bistro menu.

So, in the end, I’m going to give Herbie’s a fist-bump with a manly ass slap.



Got a question? Send it to josh@borntofork.com.