La Vallesana

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Manly ass slap – ½ star
Fone and fone – 0 stars


Restaurant: La Vallesana
Location: 2801 Cherokee


One of my biggest fears with living in St. Louis again was that I wouldn’t find any great Mexican places. Everyone is always quick to point out places like Arcelia’s or El Maguey or Hacienda. But these aren’t great Mexican restaurants. At best you can consider them serviceable when you have no other options. I was spoiled in Chicago (and I realize that I continue to sound like that guy who is always saying, “Chicago is better, St. Louis sucks”. But the truth is, I am that guy who thinks Chicago is better and St. Louis sucks. And can you blame me? This city doesn’t even have a cable company that broadcasts the CBS affiliate in HD. Seriously. CBS already has all of its major shows filmed in HD. And CBS pays a TON of cash for NFL rights, and spends even more money to make sure the games are filmed in HD. So all KMOJOKE has to do is broadcast them in HD. Is that so hard? Can you really consider yourself a major city when you can’t even watch NFL football in HD? And maybe it’s Charter’s fault. I don’t know. What I do know is that until further notice I think St. Louis should be referred to as a large town instead of a small city. But I digress.).

Like I was saying, I was spoiled in Chicago. Just a ton of Mexican and Latin options in that city, which makes sense since it is the second largest Mexican population in the States. The thing is you could find a little bit of everything, from upscale Mexican to corner mom-and-pop shops to unique twists on classical cuisine to the list goes on and on. And even with the places that were similar, there was always something unique or different that set them apart from the other places. But here, I feel like all the places are the same. I love Pueblo Solis as much as the next guy, but it’s not that different from Mi Ranchito or Arcelia’s. They all just kind of feel like American versions of Mexican restaurants.

So when Dru and Tony said they wanted to introduce me to life-changing Mexican, I was excited. And skeptical. I met them at Chipotle for lunch one day and my life really was changed.

Just kidding (and self chirp).

They took me down to Cherokee street between Jefferson and Grand. Just a cozy stretch of down-to-earth Mexican places. Everything from awful t-shirt shops to restaurants to glorified taco stands. I knew I was in the right place when one of the shops did nothing but make tortillas. The place they took me to was La Vallesana. The choice was pretty easy since it had an outdoor patio and the weather was perfect.

The menu is simple. There are tacos, tortas, quesadillas, burritos, and something else but I can’t remember what it is. Whoops. It doesn’t matter. The real test for me was the tacos. And you know what? They were perfect. Life changing, even.

I realize tacos have been around for thousands of years, and I’m sure if I wasn’t so lazy I could do a quick Internet search to find out how a “traditional” taco is supposed to be served. But in my experience a taco is at its best, and most traditional, when the toppings are kept simple (onion, cilantro, and a squeeze of lime) and the tortillas are corn and homemade. That’s it. I once watched a special about Chicago foods (here I go again) and they said that all that other stuff (cheese, tomato, lettuce, etc…) got added to the taco during the Depression, because the ingredients were cheep, bulked up the taco a bit, and you could get away with eating just one and calling it a nutritious meal. I’m not sure how true that is (I also think that’s how the Chicago-style dog came around), but let’s go with it for now. Really, it doesn’t matter, because the tacos at La Vallesana are served the “right” way. I started off with the steak taco, which was really, really good. It wasn’t the best I’ve ever had, but it’s way up there. Good meat, tons of cilantro (either you love it or you hate it), and a hint of onion. Squeeze a little lime on there and you’re good to go. I’ve also tried the beef tongue on a second visit, and it was probably the best beef tongue I’ve ever had (not that I’ve had a ton, but this was the best of what I have sampled).

But the real hero in the taco department is the El Pastor. It’s the things I’ve mentioned above, but with pork and pineapple. Honestly, it’s just about as good as a taco can get. But that’s just me. And Tony. And Dru. Get one. You won’t be disappointed. And if you are, then there’s a good chance I hate you. OK, hate’s a strong word. But still, I do hope you get hit by a bus (which probably won’t happen, since the public transportation here in St. Louis is suspect).

I also got a burrito, mostly just to give it a taste. But to my surprise the burrito wasn’t the size-of-the-Sunday-paper variety. I went with the pork, and it was great. Maybe the second best burrito I’ve ever had. I really liked the simplicity of it (not over-stuffed with ingredients), and even the size. It can fill you up without making you sick. I’ve also sampled the chicken burrito, which I didn’t think was quite as good as the pork, but still pretty damn tasty.

The place is nothing fancy. Not even close. Just a classic taqueria (that’s Spanish for “craphole”). The service is pretty bad (we waited almost 30 minutes for a basket of chips that Tony ordered no less than four times, although I can’t really complain, because watching Tony order and then get ignored over-and-over again for 30 straight minutes was the highlight of the trip). And there’s no free basket of chips that people seem to expect at Mexican places (I’m not one of those people). The prices are also pretty reasonable, although I think they just raised them slightly. And supposedly they have the best popsicles, but I’ve never tried them (you can head here to read more: http://stlouiseats.typepad.com/st_louis_eats_and_drinks_/2008/09/la-vallesana.html).

There’s not much more to say. I’ve already been back, and will continue to do so as often as possible. Dru and Tony, you really have changed my life. And my waste line.

Chest bump.



Got a question? Send it to josh@borntofork.com.