Europe

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Manly ass slap – ½ star
Fone and fone – 0 stars


Restaurant: Several
Location: All over Europe


Before I say anything, let me first apologize. It’s been a long, long, long time since my last post. I hate to make excuses, but I’m going to anyway. I moved a couple of months ago and that took up a lot of my time. Then I was out of town for a couple of weekends for weddings and what not. And we’ve had three different weekend visitors since the move. Plus the NFL started, and I’m trying to do the impossible by managing five fantasy teams, plus a fake fantasy league where my buddy Dru and I held a mock fantasy draft. He was the odd number teams, I was even. After we held the mock draft, I set up the fake league, and we each manage six of the teams. So, it’s like I’m actually managing eleven fantasy teams. And on top of all that, I was in Europe for two weeks.

Now, I don’t apologize for being so busy. I can’t help that my life is awesome and I have a lot going one. BUT, I do apologize for not making Born To Fork a priority in said awesome life. But I’m going to try and change that, starting with a quick review of my trip to Europe.

Here is where I went – Chicago to Barcelona to a cruise ship to Marseilles to Nice to Florence to Rome to Capri to Barcelona to Chicago.

Favorite city to be a tourist:
Rome. You see all this stuff on TV and in history books, but seeing it in person is a different story. It really was amazing. Remember when Dr. Sean Maquire goes off on Will Hunting with his ”So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling.” speech? That was kind of like Rome in a nutshell. You can look at pictures, read the history books, watch Spartacus, but until you are actually walking the streets, you really have no idea what it’s like. And no, I did not wait in the 6-hour line to get into the Sixteenth Chapel, but if I ever get to go back, I will.

Favorite City for a Vacation:
Capri. And it might not be a city because it’s technically an island. Maybe it’s both. Either way it’s the place I’d like to go back and have a second honeymoon. Three days on the island, then head over to the Almalfi coast for a bit.

Favorite City I’d Live In The Rest of My Life:
Villefranche. Just this tiny hidden little quiet port town where the bay was filled with yachts from a Jay-Z video. And it’s only three miles from Nice and a stone throw from Cannes and Monte Carlo. Perfect little town in the perfect location.

Favorite Thing I Ate Everyday (Sometimes Twice a Day):
Gelato. I don’t know why I don’t eat more of this stuff. Always tastes great, and feels lighter than ice cream. Which it is. Café Gelato is my favorite place to get some in Chicago. Not that you care.

Favorite Thing I Ate In France:
Would have to be the baguette I got in Marseilles. We’re walking around the city, just cruising the back streets where nobody but locals can be found, and I see this tiny little bakery. I walk in, get a baguette for about 20 cents, and continue my walk while chowing down on bread. Just one of those experiences that made me feel like I was actually living there (except for the fact that only a fat American would just tear pieces off the bread and eat it while walking. French people buy the bread and then do crazy things with it like “make sandwiches” or “eat it with a meal”. But other than that, I felt like I belonged.). And the nicest people worked in the shop. We got a lot of attitude throughout Europe, but this was one of those times that someone was genuinely happy to see us. Just felt good.

Favorite Thing I Ate In Barcelona:
Tough choice here. I’d have to go with el Rovell in the Del Born district. The bar was filled with about 15 selections of different tapas. Every piece was served on a small piece of bread. You just grabbed a plate, walked up to the bar, and grabbed as much as you want. And all of it was really, really good. Plus you could order off the menu, which we also did. Got this great chicken on a stick thing smothered with a great spicy sweet sauce. And the meat cooked in soy sauce was also pretty tasty. I’m not going to lie, we were in Barcelona for five days, and we ate here twice (the second time dragging Jeff and Debbie, our Canadian friends we met on the cruise). Sad? Yes. Do I care? No.

Second Favorite Thing I Ate in Barcelona:
I loved the sandwiches you could pick up anywhere. Bread rubbed with tomato, then usually a cured meat to finish it off. Just filling enough to get you to the next meal, but no so much that you were sick and needed to lie down and take a nap.

Favorite Thing I Ate in Capri:
Pizza. I couldn’t wait to eat some traditional pizza in Naples, which was the birthplace of pizza. Well, we decided to get it in Capri (the island/city a quick boat ride from Naples). And it was worth the wait. Was the pizza that different then some of the wood-burning oven pizzerias here in Chicago? No. But there’s something about eating it in the place that invented it. Oh, and the fact that it was f-ing amazing. And if you’re looking for something similar here in the big Windy, check out Pizza D.O.C. on Lawrence.

Least Favorite City in Europe:
Florence. A lot of people have been killing me for telling them that, but I really wasn’t impressed. It was like a themed strip mall.

Second Least Favorite City in Europe:
Naples. It was the Detroit of Italy. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Favorite “Look at those stupid Americans” Moment of Europe:
When we went to Nice it was pouring rain. Pouring. We ran from the dock to the train station (about 200 yards) and were soaked. Our shoes were soaked. Our socks were soaked. Our jackets. Our heads. Head-to-toe drenched. When we got to Nice the rain had gotten worse. We couldn’t find an umbrella anywhere. So, I bought some over-sized trash bags in a grocery store, tore a hole in the top, and we wore them as impromptu ponchos. Read that again. We were walking around Nice in the hoity-toity south of France wearing trash bags. People stopped and pointed. Cars slammed on their breaks. Women shaved their armpits in protest. It was quite a site.

Second favorite “Look at those stupid Americans” Moment of Europe:
To get from the ship/port to the city, Royal Caribbean usually had a shuttle running back and forth. When we were done walking around Marseilles we headed back to the pick up point. While waiting on the shuttle, a group of three American women came walking up and approached the shuttle bus coordinator. The one woman, almost screaming asked, “Minutos? Minutos?” While nearly shouting she was making a “T” with her hands like she was Chris Webber. Plus she’s screaming in Spanish while we’re in the middle of France. The coordinator just stared blankly. When he didn’t respond, she switched her approach. “Time? Time?” After a short pause the coordinator asked her in his French accent, “What time is the shuttle coming?” Maybe you had to be there.

Favorite Thing I Ate All Trip:
A calzone at La Focaccina di Serafina in Rome. When my wife and I visit foreign cities our favorite thing to do is just walk around. We carry a map so we don’t get too lost, but we just like to wander. I think you really experience a city that way. You get off the beaten path. Find places tourists don’t frequent. You almost feel like a local. That was La Focaccina di Sarafina. There was only one table and the place was filled with city workers on their lunch break standing around, eating. We were the only foreigners in the place. They had two choices – pizza or the calzone. If you got pizza, they cut you a big square of it, then cut that square in half. Then they warmed it up in the oven. Then they took it out and put once piece on top of the other, like a sandwich. Then they wrapped it in paper and handed it to you (I know that entire “and then…and then…and then” section read like a Dan Brown novel, and I apologize) to eat like a sandwich. A pizza sandwich. And the calzone was served the same way. No plates. No forks. No knives. Just food served in paper and a store filled with locals standing around eating their food with one hand and sipping on a soda with the other. And on top of that it was the best thing I ate the entire trip.

Favorite Wandering Around Moment:
Strangely this happened in my least favorite city, Florence. After about an hour we got so tired of the tourist trap that is Florence we looked at a map and walked as far away from the touristy part as possible. On accident, we stumbled onto a vacant street that was lined with a six-foot-high wall on both sides. And from the moment we started down the street to the point where we turned around we didn’t come across one intersection. We must have walked over a mile and not one side street. Just this long winding road with HUGE houses on either side. A couple of times we peaked over the walls, which revealed beautiful yards, each the size of Yellowstone. Every place was a mansion. It had to be one of the most peaceful and beautiful places to live in all of Italy. And to find that in the middle of the city was truly amazing.

Final Thoughts:
We were able to go from city to city because we were on a Royal Caribbean cruise. We decided that was the best bet because we could see more cities and only have to unpack twice (once in Barcelona, once on the boat). Everyone talks about how great the food is on cruise ships, but this is now my second cruise (which I’m embarrassed to even admit) and the food has been disappointing on both. Every meal here tasted the exact same. The cruise ship offers food anytime you want it, and no limit (or cost) to how much you can eat, and even I never looked forward to eating. That can’t be good. You know what every cruise ship seems to be missing? A Chinese buffet. But, that being said, I would still recommend a Mediterranean cruise for someone who has never been to Europe. It’s the easiest way to see as much as possible.



Final Ratings (in no particular order):

Rome – Chest bump with a manly ass slap
Capri – Chest bump with a manly ass slap
Villefranche – Chest bump
Marseilles – Handshake (I still can’t believe this is France’s second biggest city)
Florence – Manly ass slap
Barcelona – Chest bump
Royal Caribbean – Fist bump
El Rovell – Fist bump with a manly ass slap
La Focaccina di Serafina – Half handshake, half chest-bump hug
Gelato – Chest bump
Naples – Fone and fone
Wearing Trash Bags in Nice – Fist bump
The pizza in Capri – Chest bump with a manly ass slap
Canadians – Half handshake, half chest-bump hug




Got a question? Send it to born2fork@yahoo.com.