Spacca Napoli

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Manly ass slap – ½ star
Fone and fone – 0 stars


Restaurant: Spacca Napoli
Location: 1769 W. Sunnyside


First, let me apologize for yet another list. I know they get old (actually, they’re already old, kind of like HJs with no lube or trucker hats) but this one is very important. After “Stomp The Yard” enjoyed another week of box-office success I thought it was important to rank the best “battle” movies in the recent years. See, I have a long history of these awful types of movies. For the last several years me and my good friend and co-worker Debbie have taken a long Friday lunch in order to avoid responsibility and head to the theater. And when we do we are always drawn to the “guilty pleasure” movies, which for us involve some sort of dancing or competition, a horrible script, and even worse acting. I love these movies, and I won’t apologize for it. Here are my favorites, in order.

1. You Got Served. Still the one to beat. It had the perfect combination of unbelievable dancing, unrealistic story line, and Keanu Reeves-esque performances, except worse, which is nearly impossible. Plus it had the memorable quote that every other movie has tried to duplicate but couldn’t – “You just mad ‘cause you got served.” Aw snap. I saw this thing twice in the theatres AND bought the DVD. It really is an awful movie. Awful good, that is.

2. Stomp The Yard. That’s right, I’m putting this one in the number two spot. It’s basically a combination of “You Got Served”, “Save the Last Dance”, “Step Up”, and “Teen Wolf” (although every movie on this list is a combination of those movies). Most Memorable Quote: “’What are they doing?’ ‘ They’re stompin’ the yard. Where you from?’” This movie probably had the best script (which isn’t saying much) and the best all-around acting (which still isn’t saying much). I also love that the opening credits say, “Introducing Chris Brown” even though he’s been around for a couple of years (just not in any movies) and he’s in this movie for about 5 minutes (though it’s an incredibly emotional 5 minutes). When you “introduce” someone, shouldn’t it be the first time you are ever hearing about this person? Is there one person in the world who saw this movie and didn’t know who Chris Brown was? Plus the movie featured Meagan Good. Why is this significant? Just look at her resume: “You Got Served”, “Roll Bounce”, “Biker Boyz”, and “Stomp the Yard”. At least she’s not being typecast. How she wasn’t in “Save the Last Dance” I’ll never know.

3. Step Up. It combined my two favorite guilty pleasures – dance movie and romantic comedy. My only knock is that it could have used more dancing. And I’m glad they didn’t call it “Save the Last Dance 3”, which they very easily could have done. Since it is almost the exact same movie with a gender flip and school flip.

4. Stick It. It featured girls in leotards. Enough said.

5. Roll Bounce. 70’s music. 70’s hair. Chicago setting. Roller skates. AND Bow Wow crying while destroying a car with a bat and screaming, “She’s never coming back”. Very dramatic. So dramatic that I laughed out loud in the theater. What’s not to love?

What does this have to do with Spacca Napoli? Absolutely nothing.

So, we got to Spacca on a Saturday night. We waited for an hour. Lucky for us it was on one of those An Inconvenient Truth nights and we could stand outside and have a beer without freezing our aces off. And we weren’t alone. Tons of other people were waiting, which is always a good sign. And more people kept coming. And more people kept putting their name on the list. And clearly a lot of those people had been there before (which was made obvious when Jon Goldsmith, the owner, would greet them by name). You know what happens when you know the owner? You get preferential treatment. Like getting a seat before others who have been waiting longer. Well, we were one of those people waiting longer. And the look from my wife made Jon fear for his life. He quickly found us the next available table, brought over some free drinks, and comped us some free appetizers. When he brought over the apps he said, “I’m sorry for the wait. You never should have had to wait for an hour.” What he meant was, “Lady, please don’t castrate me.”

But after that the rest of the experience was great. The atmosphere is fantastic. A very bright room filled with the buzz of conversation. A great patio that we can’t wait to check out when the weather is nice. A huge front sidewalk where you can stand around and have drinks while waiting for a table (weather permitting). And really, really friendly service.

Spacca Napoli specializes in traditional, wood oven cooked pizzas. Just like the ones from Naples, the birthplace of the pizza. The oven was even built by 3rd and 4th generation artisans from Naples (whatever that means). Stepping inside you really do feel like you could be in Italy. If Italy was filled with a bunch of Americans speaking English in the heart of Ravenswood.

I could tell you all about the appetizers, but when pizza is the specialty, why waste your time? We went with the Margherita (tomatoes, fior di latte mozzarella, basil, olive oil) and the Bianca con Bufala (pizza Bianca (as in no red sauce) with mozzarella di bufala (as in from the buffalo’s teet), basil, olive oil). Now, we had recently been to Italy, and even made a stop in Naples and had some pizza. Spacca Napoli doesn’t quite measure up to the real thing, but really, what does? The pizza I had in Naples was one of the best of my life, so it was a lot to live up to. But I definitely wasn’t disappointed. Both pizzas were great, with enough cheese to make your mouth water, but not so much that the pizza was all cheese and nothing else. It was the prefect balance of ingredients. And surprisingly I think I would have to say I liked the “white” pizza better than the traditional “red” pizza. Of course I made myself sick on both, so there really weren’t any losers. Except for my stomach.

I can’t wait to get back and have more. It’s a little bit of a trek for me, but well worth the trip. I could see us heading back there a lot in the summer, when the weather is nicer and you don’t mind leaving your house.

Chest bump.

Got a question? Send it to born2fork@yahoo.com.