Hot Chocolate

Ratings Guide:
Half handshake, half chest-bump hug – 5 stars
Chest bump – 4 stars
Fist bump – 3 stars
High five – 2 stars
Handshake – 1 star
Fone and fone – 0 stars
Manly ass slap – ½ star



Restaurant: Hot Chocolate
Locations: 1747 N. Damen


Based on the name alone, I should give this place a perfect rating. I love chocolate. I love hot chocolate. So it should come as no surprise that I love this place.

I’ve been several times, and every time the menu is a little bit different with new choices to enjoy. And don’t get confused by the name. The place has much more than just hot chocolate. You can choose from dinner entrees, appetizers, cheese menus, wine menus, and, of course, dessert. Plus, word on the street is that their brunch on the weekends is fantastic (but I’ve never been).

Let me start with the milkshakes. Wow. Honestly, maybe the best milkshake I’ve ever had. My only complaint would be that they aren’t big enough. But, they have a bunch of flavors to choose from, so whatever you’re in the mood for you can get it. Except mint. I’m pretty sure they don’t have that, and usually, that’s what I’m in the mood for. So I usually have to settle for chocolate and maybe a banana. And I don’t mean one or the other, I order both. When they first opened up, they used to do milkshake flights. Just like wine flights, but with milkshakes. You got a small little sample of all their flavors. Easily the best idea ever.

And if you think the milkshakes are good, then try the hot chocolate. Remember in Seinfeld when George ate the papaya and said, “I think it moved.” Well, when I drank the hot chocolate I think it moved. I usually get the dark chocolate (that’s right, they have like six different hot chocolates to choose from), which is so rich it’s almost impossible to finish. Almost.

Naturally, the real winner here is the dessert menu. They have something for everybody, whether it’s a chocolate dish, a fruit dish, or brioche (just a fancy name for donut holes). And really, I think they’re all good. I usually order two of them. But, I’m a fatty. The last time I went they had this dessert called “Apples”, which was an apple pie potpie topped with cinnamon ice cream. I think it moved. I’ve also tried the brioche, which are fantastic. My wife usually gets something called “Chocolate”, which is Snickers inspired. And as far as I’m concerned, you can’t go wrong with anything that is Snickers inspired. Really, I can’t think of a dessert that has ever disappointed me.

And the entrees, though limited to usually five choices or so, are also great. Now, I’ve never wasted the calories on them, but my sister and wife both have, and they LOVED what they got. So, Hot Chocolate is even a place you can go for dinner, not just dessert.

I liked this place so much I sent my parents there for dessert when they were down in the city one night. I asked my dad if he liked the milkshakes. “They’re $5.” Apparently he thought that was expensive. Then I wondered if he tried one of the hot chocolates. “They’re $5.” That meant “no”. So, I took one last shot and asked him if he at least enjoyed the desserts. “Yeah. Even though they were $10.”

So, be warned, the prices are a little high, but as far as I’m concerned, well worth it. I’ve never walked out of there without spending $50, and that’s just for dessert.

And you know what, they have chocolate beer. How can you not like a place that has chocolate beer?

So, in conclusion, I’ll give Hot Chocolate a fist bump with a manly ass slap.